Do They Sell "I Survived the Great College Move of 2013" T-Shirts?

Well, first up, I apologize for not updating the blog or Facebook for little while but we were doing something heartbreaking and wonderful... moving DD#1 to college.  I've spent the last month helping her pack, reviewing general "living on your own skills" (like making pasta, doing laundry properly, grocery shopping, etc.), buying tons of supplies (while I love the fact the room came "fully furnished", I really wish the dorm offered a meal plan - more on that later), and moving her 500 miles from home.

We just arrived back home this afternoon and I'm still amazed that it all happened so seamlessly.  The only "forgotten" thing was a corded telephone for her desk, in case they lose power and she can't use her cell phone, and that was fixed by a quick trip to Radio Shack.

So, let's recap the last 4 days...

Friday morning, up at regular time and get the youngest 2 off to school (DD#2 is capable of waking up and getting herself off to high school by herself.)  After getting the girls on the bus, DD#1 visited quickly with a couple of our neighbors while we started to load the car.  Rather than putting the mileage on my (very recently repaired) SUV, we decided to rent one for the trip.  Unfortunately it was a little smaller than mine and, naturally, not everything fit in the back or on the back seat with DD#1, so we had to improvise a bit.  All the groceries DD#1 purchased in advance of her trip (we figured it would be easier - and cheaper - to shop here at home instead of in NYC) were moved from the large storage tote box and moved to the reusable shopping bags I gave her for her use while at school.  Then we had to be "creative" with storing the remaining 2 storage bins of clothing, the kitchen-sized trash can (no, the room didn't come with one), the cleaning supplies (because she actually expects me to believe she'll keep her dorm room cleaner than her bedroom at home - ha!), bedding, etc.  Finally, we were off for a lovely 500+ mile drive from our house to my brother-in-law's home, where we were staying for the trip.  (He's beyond awesome to allow us to stay with him whenever we visit back east.  Considering he's single and lives alone, it's got to be a HUGE culture shock to have guests and children at his house every time.)

Saturday morning, DH, DD#1, and I headed from Stamford, CT to NYC, and I remembered why I hated driving into the city.  An approximate 45 mile drive should NOT have to take over 90 minutes.  (Another reason I love living where I do in the Midwest is that this almost never happens here unless there's a horrible accident or tons of snow... none of which were factor on Saturday in NYC.)  We were lucky to find on-street parking less than 3 blocks from the dorm.  Score!  Over two hours later, DD#1's side of the room was organized and unpacked.  (Her roommate still hasn't moved in yet but I was nice enough to clean her side of the room as well, so she doesn't have to come in to dust bunnies in the corners.)  All that remained was for a final trip to Ikea for dishes, cookware, etc.  To my dismay, DD#1 didn't want to go with us, so DH, his brother, and I went up to the one in New Haven on Sunday morning, then DH & I (and my BFF's mother) drove back down to the city afterwards.

DD#1's dorm is really in a fantastic neighborhood.  NYC's Upper East Side, on Third Avenue.  The view from her room is very nice and the building is SO cool (24 hour security, full gym, laundry facilities, fridge and microwave in every dorm room and a full kitchen on every couple of floors -- DD#1's room is about 3 rooms away from the one on her floor, etc.)  The only thing that would make it perfect is if her college or her dorm had a meal plan.  Unfortunately, the school is a small fine arts college (less than 1,000 students!) and it's not feasible for them to offer one and the dorm is used by at least 8 different colleges around the city and it would be overwhelming for them to offer one.  So, in what could be really good (or really bad, but I'm going to focus on the good) move, DD#1 is being forced to shop for groceries and cook her meals.  In theory, it will be healthier and probably cost less; however, I'm afraid she'll decide to live on a diet of Ramen noodles and "Easy Mac".

And today was the lonely drive home.  For the first time in years, DH & I were able to make the drive home in under 9 hours.  And it would have been shorter if we didn't have a side trip to my favorite Italian bakery in Port Chester, NY (a girl's gotta have her NY deli-style hard rolls and I promised DD#2's boyfriend's mother a box of Italian butter cookies) and 2 pit stops for coffee (we packed sandwiches at my brother-in-law's house, so we didn't have to eat fast food on the road.)

Coming home was great (my sister and one of her adult children stayed at our house over the weekend and babysat DD#2, 3 & 4 because they started school already and I didn't want them to miss 2 days the first week.)  My house was clean!  They even cleaned up the mess we made when, at the last minute, we had to remove some stuff that couldn't fit in the car.  Love them for that!  Actually, I'm not sure "great" is the right word.  Coming home to only 3 kids was definitely bittersweet.  DD#1 is really an adult and is living on her own, albeit in a dorm, and while I'm happy for her, I'm still sad that she doesn't need me to make sure she's going to school and doing her homework and going to bed at a reasonable time.  But watching her eat dinner on Sunday, knowing she prepared it herself, with her own groceries, using her own kitchen pots and pans and utensils really made me tear up.  Her telling me about running to the market to buy some broccoli for a snack the night before was good.  And when she told me that she found a Unitarian church (the faith she's been raised in since she was about 7 years old) near her dorm and that she's considering going to church while away at school choked me up big time, as she said she was "taking a break" from church earlier this year.

She's sweet, smart, living on her own, and grabbing life with both hands.  She's doing something that I didn't do at that age (I lived at home while going to a local university when I was her age.)  I'm proud of her!  To think I had something to do with creating and molding this amazing young woman makes me choke up... again.  This time next year is going to suck because it'll be both DD#1 and 2 going away to school.  (Might be a good time to buy stock in tissue companies.  lol)

And now I'm off to finish unpacking and doing laundry.

Good night!

Simplify

Nine years ago this month, DH and I made the decision to move from the suburbs of NYC to the suburbs of Cleveland.  We just decided that we could not afford (financially, spiritually, mentally) to live the life we wanted in that part of the country.  For the “perk” of being able to say we lived in Greenwich, CT (our hometown, actually), we would have to continue working an obscene number of hours (in my case, it was anywhere between 50 and 70 hours a week at “salary” – a/k/a no paid overtime), never seeing each other as our work schedules didn’t completely mesh,  and just not having the time/energy/money to do anything on the days we both were off from work.  Plus the kids were either at school or with the nanny.  They definitely weren’t having fun.

So we decided, "Let's move to a different area!"  An area where I could (and did) take several years off from work and raise our kids.  An area where DH could putter around in the garden and enjoy the property we had.  (Did I mention that our previous back and front yards put together were smaller than our current house’s front yard?)  An area where our kids would end up with friends all over the block.  The town we picked, Mentor, was chosen because my father’s company had transferred my family out there for several years when I was growing up and I “knew” the area.  It’s actually still a surprise at how fast it all came together.  We bought the second house we saw on our first trip out here, and closed on it in less than 8 weeks.  We decided our family needed a simpler, more relaxed lifestyle and living here was going to do that for us.  I even bought a rustic rectangular painting of the word “Simplify” for our new home, to remind me (and us) that we were going to simplify our lives.

DH and DD’s #1, 2, and 3 (#4 wasn’t born yet) adjusted almost immediately.  Me?  The one who actually spent a good chunk of my childhood here, it took a while longer.  I began to miss being able to hop a train and be in NYC in 45 minutes, even though I hated working there.  I missed the ocean, even though I hardly went to the beach for fear of yet another horrid sunburn.  I missed good bagels, hard rolls, pizza, and being able to find a 24 hour deli or diner every couple of blocks, even though it had been years since I had a 3:00am breakfast after a crazy night out with friends.

While I truly enjoyed being home with my kids, it took a long period of adjustment for me to get to that point.  I have worked since three days after my 16^th birthday.  The longest periods I had taken off were maternity leaves after having DD’s #1, 2, and 3.  Heck, I even worked from home (with an “at the time state of the art” 14.4 baud modem!) after having DD #1!  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I threw myself into volunteering (school, Girl Scouts, church, etc.), Gymboree, and hosting “craft days” on days off from school with a huge slew of neighborhood kids (which I TOTALLY loved -and miss- doing!)  DH came home every night to a nice dinner, a fairly organized home, and happy kids.  But not a happy wife.  Why?  What happened to “simplify”?  What about all those articles and books I read, toting how amazing a simpler life would and could be?  My life was perfect… and I still wasn’t happy.  Why, indeed?

After several years of therapy (I have major depressive disorder and a bunch of other issues that I won’t bore you with… today), I realized that I somehow tied my feeling of worth to receiving a paycheck.  WTF?!?  I was doing the most important job of my life, tending to my family, and I was having trouble finding worth in it?  What was wrong with me?  My therapist encouraged me to go back to work and, quite frankly, not only did I need to work for an emotional level, we were really hitting the point where I had to, from a financial level, as well.  (I have always been the primary breadwinner and, lucky me, DH doesn’t have a problem with that!)  Unfortunately, after being home for a couple of years, plus my “network” was 500 miles away, it wasn’t that easy.  I couldn't even get an interview with Macy's because my college education made me "too qualified".  Eventually, though, I lucked into an amazing job that actually WANTS me to have a healthy work/life balance.  One that understands I have priorities outside of the four walls of my office.  By taking a step back and sideways, careerwise, I could get "me" back.  And even though I may get stressed and annoyed by work (like this week, where I’m covering for another co-worker and having to do two jobs when all I want to do is be home with my kids, since DD#1 returned home last night!), I’m grateful for it. 

So how does “simplify” fit into all this?  Easy.  By cutting my workload in half and getting away from a fairly toxic lifestyle, DH and I have had the best years of our marriage.  My kids get to see me and have a less exhausted and very happy mom.  I get to enjoy being able to put the brakes on life and enjoy.  Like Ferris said in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  That, in my mind, is the definition of “simplify.”  Stopping to smell the roses… and maybe pick one or two to enjoy later.

Now I’m going to have lunch with one of my wonderful coworkers and enjoy my beautiful, simple life.

Cheers!

Mary

PS:  Did you know that Zabar’s ships via UPS?  And that hard rolls from Neri’s (Port Chester, NY) freeze rather well, so you can bring home several dozen each trip back east, to enjoy at your leisure?  Oh, and that Mentor has a really good Italian import store (Verdi’s) with fantastic sausage & pepper wedges… uh, I mean “subs”?  (No one outside of the metro NYC area seems to know what a wedge is.  *sigh*)  Life is simply better here.

Quick Update: One Day I'll Learn to Relax on Saturdays

Today was spent running around, hitting two different grocery stores to get our weekly shopping done.  Oh, did I mention I did this with the two youngest in tow?  Yeah...  Thankfully my sister was able to go with us and that helped keep the "Oh Mommy I've GOTTA have this!" whines to a minimum.  In fact, the only things they asked for (and I caved in on) were bananas, Greek yogurt, and organic bunny-shaped pretzels.  Not too bad, if you ask me.  It could have been much worse (thank you, Whole Foods, for NOT having huge candy displays at the cash registers!)

So then we came home and I spend the rest of the afternoon "prepping".  I don't know if anyone else does this but I find it makes my life a little easier during the week.  I start off by rinsing all the fresh fruit and vegetables.  Then I assemble bags of pre-cut salad greens (I store them in the reusable produce bags found in the $1 bins at Target) for quick weeknight salads, hull the strawberries and pop the grapes off the stems and put them in kid-friendly plastic boxes (they're plastic and look like the cardboard strawberry containers at the farmer's market, again from the $1 bins at Target), separate the broccoli crowns into good size pieces and store them in reusable produce bags, etc.  I find that, by doing all this right when I get home, that:

1. I actually use all the produce I buy because I've taken away the "oh but I still have to clean, chop, etc. before using it" excuse.
2. The kids actually eat the easy to access fruits and veggies, and they don't ask for junk food.  Seriously, this happens in our house!  All they might ask for is a small container of ranch dressing for dipping the celery, carrots, or broccoli.  Love this!

After that, DD#3 and I decided to make oatmeal/peanut butter energy balls (see recipe below.)  It takes about 5 minutes to prepare them and the kids LOVE them!  They're all natural and are comprised of things we usually have on hand, so they're convenient.  Plus they're healthy enough that they can be a quick morning breakfast on hectic school mornings.  (Our kids go back on August 21st this year, so I'm already in "back to school" mode.)  They're so good that the kids don't even realize they're healthy and good for them.

Well now I'm going to relax a bit, grab a couple of strawberries, and get ready for tonight's dinner (meatloaf, macaroni & alfredo cheese side dish from Whole Foods - a nice grown-up take on macaroni & cheese, and a big salad.)

Hope everyone's having a great day!

Mary

RECIPE:  Oatmeal/Peanut Butter Energy Balls
1 C dry oatmeal
1/2 C peanut butter (you could substitute sunflower butter, if there's an issue with nut allergies in your home)
1/2 C ground flax seed
1/2 C chocolate chips
1/2 C raisins or dried cranberries (or you can mix them, if you like)
1/3 C honey or maple syrup (I used maple syrup because I just bought a couple of bottles from the kids' summer camp, where they make their own syrup - super awesome stuff!)
1 tsp. vanilla (optional, but I do tend to use it)
2/3 C toasted coconut flakes (optional)

Mix all ingredients together in a medium bowl.  Put the bowl in the refrigerator until chilled and firm.  When firm, take out and roll the mixture into 1" to 1 1/2" balls, and enjoy!

Amazed

Holy Cow!  First off, let me say I’m amazed.  Two really awesome Facebook groups linked to posts of mine and, well, my Facebook page more than DOUBLED our followers/”likers” in less than 24 hours!  I’m still stunned.  J

I’m also amazed, in a different way, at how fast this summer is going by.  In a little over a week, DD#1 will be back home from her 3 weeks in FL with her bio-dad.  My other 3 DD’s are all back from their week at summer camp.  Oh, and DD#1 forwarded me an email discussing her college orientation (one month from yesterday.)  How did this happen?  Weren’t we just scheduling DD#1’s high school senior portraits?  And now we’re packing her up to move… and scheduling DD#2’s high school senior portrait session and finding time to buy all the back to school stuff needed before school starts again on August 21^st.  Is there a “slow motion” button I can hit, so these next 4 weeks slow down to an absolute crawl?  I want more time with my kids.  We haven’t even been to the beach (granted, it’s been raining and/or in the low 70s for an obscene amount of time this summer) or had one of our annual outdoor picnics yet this year.  DD’s #3 & 4 haven’t had a lemonade stand yet. 

I’m also amazed (in a bad way) at how much I’ve spent on my car this summer.  Without going into too much detail, what started off as needing new wheel bearings lead to needing a new (rebuilt) transmission which lead to needing a new (rebuilt) engine.  I’m so sick of feeling like we’re hemorrhaging cash. 

And now I’m amazed that tonight is the first night of DD#3’s cheerleading practices for the fall season.  Whoa!  There go my weeknights for the next month and my weekends until October.  I love that she loves doing it, and that DD#2 is her squad’s junior advisor, but it does take up a bit of time and it’s yet another reminder that school is starting in 3 weeks… and DD#1 moves away to college in 4 weeks… and that I’m getting older.

*sigh*

I should be happy, as I LOVE early fall.  It’s my favorite time of the year.  Seriously.  I love when it starts getting chilly enough to wear a sweater and I can pull tights and my favorite boots out of the closet.  When I can make a huge batch of beef stew or chili and it won’t cause the A/C to kick on in the house.  When I don’t have to shave my legs every damned day.  (Hey, just being honest!) 

Oh well, life goes on.  Gotta learn to relax and enjoy.  And now I’m off to cheerleading.  Catch you all later!

Too Much to Do and Not Enough Time

So yesterday DD#1 left for 3 weeks in Florida with her father… and even with 3 other kids still running around, the house felt empty.  What’s it going to be like when she moves on campus next month? 

Sunday, the remaining 3 DD’s head off to a week of sleep-away summer camp.   This will be the first time in 18 YEARS that I will be child-free for more than 48 hours (excluding my hospitalization 7 years ago but I don’t think that really counts.)  You’d think I’d be planning on a week of vacation days, spa days, and leisurely dinners out with the DH.  And you would be wrong.  I’m working 3 days (DH is working 4) and I plan on using my 2 days off to:

·         Clean the basement pantry (we have a ranch-style house and because of lack of space in the kitchen, I’ve carved a part of our basement into a second pantry)

·         Clean the lower-level family room/den (time to dispose of all those toys that no one has touched in 4 years but still refuse to dispose of on their own because “I might want it later!”)

·         Donate blood (seriously, folks, it takes half an hour and is so important – check out www.redcross.org)

Saturday will be a hellish nightmare of trips to Walmart, Target, the sporting goods store, etc., so I can finalize the stuff the kids need for camp.  Oh, and I need to find time to hit the mall because Sunday is DD#3’s 10^th birthday.  Naturally I haven’t started shopping yet (don’t judge!)  She got one of her presents earlier this week, when DH & I took her and her younger sister to see The Jonas Brothers in concert.  Nothing like seeing an aging boy band with an almost 10 year old and a 7 year old, I’ll tell you that.  Hopefully I can see another concert soon, so if I’m ever asked “What’s the last concert you saw?”, I can answer without feeling too embarrassed. 

Okay, let’s get back to today though.  I’m at work, trying to enjoy the last little bits of my lunch break, and an email comes across that there’s a going-away party for a departing employee in the canteen as we speak.  And it wouldn’t be my workplace if there wasn’t some sort of fattening goodies.  Today it’s punch and cake.  Enough with the food, coworkers!!!  Or maybe someone can help me find some will power, so I can resist the siren call of buttercream icing.  Seriously, the last thing I need is a huge piece of cake on top of the BLT I had for lunch and the pizza we're having for dinner.  Uggh!

Bye for now!

Here Comes the Rain Again

It’s almost the middle of July, right?  Because I’m in Northeast Ohio and it hasn’t been warmer than mid 80s in a few weeks.  Right now, we’re getting hit with a thunderstorm and the temperature dropped into the 70s.  We've usually had some 90+ degree days by now but not this year.  I know I shouldn't be complaining but it's just weird.  In fact, the weather’s been all wonky this year, though.  When our old hometown of Greenwich, CT gets more snow than we do here, in the Snow Belt of the United States, you know something's wrong.

Today was the first day back at work after a weird work week (we had Thursday off for the holiday but had to work on Friday) and, naturally, the day took forever.  Between the email server screwing up for a good part of the morning (and again after lunch, but just for me because I'm special - no comments) and having to start the leg work for our FY13 audit (we haven't even closed last fiscal year yet but the auditors want us to start sending out bank confirmation already), it definitely wasn't my day.  The only thing that really worked was I managed to sneak in a 1 mile walk during lunch, and that was really nice.

Then I get home and what do I hear?  DD#3 asking for a human-eating lizard and DD#4 asking why we don’t own a thundershirt.  No, we don’t have a dog and, thus, have no need for a thundershirt.  Apparently she thought it might help her with thunderstorms.  I know she’s 7 and that she’s creative (putting it nicely) but DD#4 really takes the “I’m almost as weird as my Daddy” thing too far.  (Those who know DH in real life can vouch that DD#4's comments sound like something her father would say.)  At least she’s now arguing with DH about watching Doctor Who on his computer because the TV keeps going out because of the storm.  (Why yes, we do have DirecTV?  How could you possibly have guessed?  *snert*)  Listening to him repeat over and over that the storm has no effect on Netflix and that streams to the television via our Wii system is definitely amusing.  Nice that someone else in the house has to deal with the typical barrage of "Why?  Why?  Why?" questions for tonight. 

Wisely though, DD's #1 & 2 have been avoiding me.  Maybe they're afraid of getting in trouble for not doing chores or because they overheard the younger 2's conversations with me and figured I need a break.  Either way, I'm a little grateful because it allows me some "alone" time.  With 4 kids living at home, that doesn't happen all that often but when it does, it's appreciated.

I spent yesterday afternoon cooking meals for use during the week (breaded pork chops – which were last night’s dinner, barbecued chicken, and Yankee pot roast) and what does everyone want for dinner tonight?  Yep, you guessed it.  Hot dogs and baked French fries.  WTF?  DH was off work today (as he worked yesterday) so he could have cooked something or just reheated one of my pre-cooked frozen dinner options.  But, no, everyone wanted my lazy “OMG I totally forgot about getting dinner ready!” fallback dinner.  *grrr*  Although it was nice that when my ex-husband called, while I was in the middle of getting dinner prepared, that I had the handy "I'm in the middle of making dinner and can't talk" line available for use.  I really wish he'd remember that we're divorced, we're not friends (I tolerate him for the sake of our daughters), and I don't really care that he's nowhere near the area in Florida that's under hurricane warning.  It's like he forgets that we've been divorced 15 years.  I only have 1 1/2 years left of being nice to him, because that's when DD#2 turns 18.  I'll be civil to him for the girls' sake but I definitely don't want to be friends with him.  (Those who know the circumstances of our divorce definitely know why I don't want to deal with him any more than necessary.  Suffice to say, he's not a pleasant person.)

OMG, DD#2 just came out and told me that her conversation with my ex-MIL involved her weight.  DD#2 put on a few pounds this year but is definitely not obese by any stretch of the imagination.  Apparently her grandmother wanted to know how the dieting is going (note:  she isn't on one) and if she lost any of that weight she put on.  Seriously?!  Because she's no longer a size 3, you're going to start in on her?  Is it because DD#1 lost a full dress size since graduation, thanks to no longer eating the over-processed crap sold in the school cafeteria and actually exercising in the mornings?  One of these days, my ex-MIL is going to understand that I've always struggled with my weight (slow metabolism) and my girls seem to have the same problem.  They're not skinny twigs like their cousins.  My girls have to keep active to keep their weight at healthy levels and no matter how much they work out, they're never going to be a size 0.  (I can't believe I'm going to have to explain to her, yet again, that it's okay that my daughters wear a size 3 or 5.  As long as their doctor says they're healthy and they stay active, I'm not going to jump on them for gaining 10 lbs. or throw a party for them losing 10.)

Tonight I should be dying my hair (thanks again to my father for passing on the “graying WAY too early in life” gene) and maybe painting my nails.  Instead I’ll end up doing the chores that the kids blew off today because, silly me, I didn’t write a list of what I wanted them to do.  You’d think they would be capable of looking around, see stuff to be done, and (oh I don’t know) just do it.  Or that DH could remind them during the day.  But no, if it’s not written down by Mom on the Boogie Board (love that thing!) on the refrigerator, apparently it doesn’t get done.  Then, again, there have been MANY days where I’ve written stuff down and they still didn’t do it.  *double grrr*  I should be happy that at least the dishes were washed, even though they weren't put away.

Well, since I’m the one doing chores tonight, I guess I’ll pop on some Foo Fighters and grab the broom.   ¯¯One of these days... the ground will drop out… from... beneath your feet¯¯

See you later.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. I Am My Mother After All.

It’s official.  I have become my mother.  I’m not sure how (or even when) it happened but it happened.  I’ve turned into my mother.  Now don’t get me wrong.  My mother was an awesome, amazing woman who lived through so much that I sometimes shake my head that she even lived as long as she did (my mother passed in 2001 at the age of 68.)  However, my mother was your typical Irish/Italian woman.  She was the one who yelled if you didn’t eat enough.  She yelled if you ate too much.  She complained if I had my hair in my face but, when I would cut it short, she would say “It looked better longer.”  Always with the contradictions.  The main thing about my mother, though, was food.  She was ALWAYS cooking.  Granted, I come from a blended family and am the youngest of 8 children, so there was a time where it would be only natural for my mother to be cooking all day.  But, even after everyone moved out, she still did so.  And still cooked in the same, absurd amount (enough to feed a small army.)

Yesterday was Independence Day here in the US and where was I?  In the kitchen, at the stove, just like her.  And that was where I spent most of my day, just like her.  Baking two batches of buttermilk biscuits (the first batch didn’t rise enough and definitely weren’t flaky enough for me to be happy, so I had to make a second batch), making potato salad, baked beans (well, doctoring up a can of Bush’s baked beans but I like theirs and, well, I didn’t feel like making them from scratch), corn on the cob, corn/pepper relish (which I made and canned last weekend) and fried chicken.  Keep in mind, I’m using a modified version of my mother’s recipe, which is a "little piece of heaven" on a plate.  Actually, it’s more like a "little heart attack waiting to happen" on a plate.  (The stuff is fried in lard.)  And, by the time it was done, I made enough food to feed at least a dozen people… and there were only the six of us, and two of us are under 10 years old.

I know by today’s standards, I have a large family.  Not too many families are having four (or more) kids.  But I know I’m not alone in this.  Every mother I talk to does the same thing.  We cook like there’s no tomorrow.  Why?  Granted, I like having leftovers and homemade always tastes better than buying it pre-made or getting takeout.  But why do I feel this need to constantly feed people?  Am I going to be like my mom and continue going at this level even when my kids start moving away from home.  DD#1 is moving to college 500 miles from home next month.  What about next year when DD#2 leaves for college? Am I going to keep cooking for six (or more) people at every meal, even though I can’t just pack it up and ship it to them at school?  Like I said, I like having leftovers but, in 15 years, am I going to want to eat leftover fried chicken and potato salad for lunch every day for a week?

Maybe I’ve inherited the “show ‘em you love ‘em by feeding ‘em” gene from Mom.  In high school and college, all my friends loved coming to my house because my mom would feed them like no one’s business.  (She’d also kick their butts playing “quarters” but that’s a different post all together.)  Perhaps I’ll do the same with my kids’ friends.  I’ve already had one of my daughter’s friends ask if I can send her care packages when she leaves home.  And maybe one of my kids will inherit this gene from me, and the legacy of taking care of the ones you love with food will continue.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep feeding my family and friends (as an expression of love), one piece of juicy southern fried chicken at a time.  Pass the biscuits, please.

I "relish" the days where not everything is "jam"med (and yes, I suck at puns)

In addition to cooking a few meals for next week, I spent part of the day making a half batch of strawberry jam and a full batch of corn/pepper relish.  For those that don't know, I love to can homemade goodies, for use during the non-peak growing seasons.  There's nothing as awesome as a smear of homemade jam on a hot biscuit in the middle of December.  And the relish is just as good as a side dish at a picnic as it is spooned onto a hot dog (in place of a traditional dill pickle relish.)  So, I thought I'd share these two recipes with you.  Hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

STRAWBERRY JAM (modified recipe from Martha Stewart Living)
4 lbs. strawberries, rinsed, hulled, and cut into 1" pieces
5 C granulated sugar
*Note:  You can choose to add 2 Tbsp. pectin if you so wish.  This recipe will set correctly with or without it.

Put a small plate or saucer in the freezer.  Place berries in a non-reactive 10-quart stockpot over medium-high heat.  Using a wooden spoon, mix in 1/4 C sugar with the berries.  Cook, stirring, until berries are juicy (5 - 6 minutes.)  Stir in a third of the remaining sugar and pectin (if using) until dissolved.  Repeat until all the sugar has been added and dissolved, about 7 minutes total.

Bring mixture to a full boil and cook, stirring, for 10 minutes.  Continue boiling and use a stainless-steel spoon to remove the pink foam from surface of berry mixture.  Boil until most of the liquid is absorbed, mixture thickens, and temperature registers 220 degrees F on a candy thermometer (about 30 minutes.)  If you don't have a thermometer, you can perform a "gel" test (place a spoonful of the jam on the chilled plate and return to the freezer for a minute or two.  Remove plate from freezer and gently press the jam with your finger.  It should wrinkle slightly.

After jam passes the gel test (or hits 220 degrees), remove from heat.  Pour warm jam into 10 half-pint jars and:
to refrigerate - seal, label, and refrigerate for up to 4 months
to can - process jars in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes, cool, label, and store
Makes 10 half-pints of jam


CORN/PEPPER RELISH (from Karen Solomon, blogger for Williams-Sonoma and author of several amazing cookbooks - seriously, Google her.  You won't be disappointed!)

1 Tbsp. vegetable oil
3 3/4 C diced sweet red bell peppers (3 or 4 peppers)
1 Tbsp. kosher salt
4 C fresh or thawed frozen corn kernels
1 3/4 C diced red onion (1 very large onion)
1 1/2 C apple cider vinegar
1 1/2 C sugar
1/2 tsp. ground turmeric

In a large skilled over medium-high heat, warm the oil.  Add the peppers and salt, and saute, stirring often, until the peppers soften and begin to caramelize (about 12 minutes.)  Add the corn, stirring to combine, and cook the vegetables until the corn is hot (3 - 4 more minutes.)  Turn off the heat and add the onion to the pan; stir well.

In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the vinegar, sugar, and turmeric, and stir just until the sugar dissolves (about 2 minutes.)

Pack the vegetables into 3 clean 1-pint jars, and pour the warm brine over the vegetables to cover completely, discarding any unused brine.  To can the relish for longer storage, process the jars for canning (10 minutes, hot water bath canning method.)  Otherwise, cover tightly and let the relish sit at room temperature for a day before moving it to the refrigerator.  Refrigerated, this will keep for up to 6 months.  Canned, it will keep for up to 1 year.  Makes three 1-pint jars.

Am I a Bad Parent if I Occasionally Need to Get Away From My Kids?

In July, all 4 of my kids will be out of the house for a week.  DD#1 will be with her biological father in Florida for 3 weeks, and the 3 younger DD's will be at sleepaway summer camp.  While I was relishing the first week without any of my kids in the 18 years I've been a parent (excluding a week in the hospital 7 years ago), I mentioned this to a friend.  This friend said that she's the opposite, she loves having her kids around all the time.

And that got me to thinking... does wanting to escape my kids for a week make me a bad parent?  It's not like I'm taking a week off from work (I'm planning on taking 2 days, so I can clean the basement without hearing "But Mom I need that *fill in the blank*!") or going away while they're not home.  I'm just looking forward to not hearing "Mom... Mom... MOM!" and not having to cook dinner if I don't feel like it.  (DH can throw something together for himself, if I do that.  lol)  Oh, and being able to use the bathroom without someone knocking on the door.

Does that make me a bad parent?  Or does it make me a wise parent because I'm realizing I need an occasional break from being responsible for everything?  I was thinking that a week to recharge my batteries while the kids were off having their own adventures would make things better for everyone involved.  Now I'm afraid that maybe I'm looking forward to that little freedom a little too much.  What say you?

Mary

*****Tonight's dinner:  Italian Chicken and Pasta

1.5 lbs. boneless/skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1 medium yellow onion, sliced 

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 medium tomatoes, chopped

1/8 C Italian seasoning (or you could use a mix of fresh basil and oregano, if you got it)

1 can Cannelli beans, drained and rinsed

3 pieces of bacon, cooked and chopped into small pieces

1 quart of homemade spaghetti sauce

1 C shredded Italian cheese blend (I used Sargento's 6 cheese Italian blend)

Parmesan cheese, grated

Salt & pepper, to taste

1 lb. cooked pasta (I used fusilli, but you could use anything)

Brown the chicken in the olive oil, and cook until done.  Add onion and garlic, cook for a few minutes.  Stir in tomatoes, seasoning, beans, and bacon.  Cook until everything's warmed through and hot.  Stir in sauce, cheeses and salt & pepper.  Cook until hot, then toss in cooked pasta.  Serve with garlic bread and olives on the side.  (You could add the olives to the chicken and pasta as well, but one of my kids prefers the olives plain.)

*This is a "nothing fancy" dinner that really hits the spot when you don't know what to make.  Oh, and it only takes about 30 minutes.  (Take that, Rachael Ray!  You don't need to stoop to using pre-made sauces and crap to make a good 30 minute meal.  lol)

Rock Bottom (An extremely personal and hard post to write)

I was debating on ever actually writing this post but, well, I guess it's all pretty common knowledge (to those who know me in person, that is.)  Today is my 7 year "sober-versary."  For those who don't know, your "sober-versary" is the anniversary of the day you get clean and sober.  In my case, I'm a recovering binge alcoholic.  Actually, I'm a major depressive (and a whole bunch other things) who used alcohol (plus my prescription medications) to self-medicate.  Seven years ago tonight, I was at the absolute bottom in terms of my life.  I had to look up to see grass and dirt, I was that far down.  I was in the middle of a major depressive cycle and it came around fast.  In less than 4 weeks, I went from being my usual self to being someone I didn't recognize and, honestly, someone I didn't like.  I thought life really wasn't worth living and planned out yet another suicide attempt (I've lost count of how many times I had tried in the past.)  This time, though, I was hell-bent on not getting caught ahead of time.  I spent those last 4 weeks to plan and to make sure I appeared as "normal" as possible, so my loved ones wouldn't figure out something was wrong and interfere.

Well, June 29th arrived and I knew this was going to be it.  DH and I had plans to go out with a bunch of friends (we were celebrating the publishing of a friend of mine's book), my oldest 2 DD's were away at summer camp, and my oldest niece was babysitting the younger 2.  DH and I went out and I intentionally had way too much drink, went home after that lovely evening, and swallowed half a month's prescription of Oxycodone, left over from when I had my tubes tied after DD#4 was born 7 months before.  Long story short, DH realized something was wrong when I wouldn't answer his knock on our bathroom door and I ended up in the hospital, enduring 2 rounds of that nasty charcoal slushy stuff, and finding out I had a .42 BAC.  Because of my background and the fact it was a rather serious attempt, I spent a week (involuntarily at first) getting "help".  During that time, I realized that I came from a long line of depressive alcoholics (my father, in particular) and if I didn't want to end up like him (emotionally detached from loved ones and dead of a heart attack at 53), well, I had some work to do.  I used that week to detox from alcohol, accept the fact I am a binger, and that I needed a lot more psychiatric care than I ever thought possible.  With the help of an amazing therapist (and a psychiatrist who loved to write prescriptions - let's just say that I was more than happy to replace her) and an unbelievably loving husband, I was able to pull through.  I learned that, while I could say "no" to the first drink with no problem, being unable to say "no" to drinks #2, 3, 4, ... 10 was a problem.  I chose to get sober. I had to face my demons without my trusty vodka shots and Scotch on the rocks with a beer chaser.  But I faced them.  And they were scary.  And horrible.  And terrifying.  But I did it.  And you know what?  I survived.

If I had succeeded 7 years ago, I would never have seen so many wonderful things.  Like DD#1 graduating from high school and heading off to start her life as an amazing young adult, DD#2 being the ONLY girl in her PSEO construction management program (and seriously kicking butt, at that!), DD#3 going from being a toddler to being a tween-age carbon copy of my late mother, DD#4 growing from an infant to a really cool and amazing 7 year old, and DH being his usual wonderful self (and quitting smoking, which was HUGE for him!)  I would have missed out on so much good that it makes me feel guilty.  Then I remember that I have major depressive disorder and I really can't control how or when it's going to hit me, and that isn't my fault.  My brain is wired a little different than others and I have to work a little harder to be "normal" (or as close to normal as I'm willing to get.  lol)

While I would love to celebrate such a bittersweet day with a nice glass of pinot grigio, I know I'm not able to just enjoy one glass and it's just not worth it.  So I'll settle for a scoop of sea salt caramel gelato and a glass of Diet Pepsi and enjoy the fact that I'm here.  I may not be perfect and I may still have lots of issues to work though, but I'm here and I'm not alone.  I have DH, the girls, my friends and my family to keep me going.  And that's all I really need.  I need to believe that tomorrow's going to be better than the day before if only because I'm still here.  And despite what that nasty bitch "depression" tells me, I mean a whole lot to a lot of people and that I'm needed and loved.  Some days are better than others, naturally, but it's okay.  I'm going to get through it.

Here's to us survivors.  It gets better.

Mary

I've Turned Into George Banks (and I'm Pretty Sure That's Not a Good Thing)

When did everything get so expensive?  I'm serious here.  DH & I make a decent living, we don't live beyond our means, I don't have flashy jewelry or buy only designer clothing, DH doesn't have expensive hobbies... but it seems everything is so expensive nowadays.  We were wondering what we could afford to do this summer as a "last family vacation" before DD#1 leaves for college and OMG.  Everything's outrageously priced.  And that got me thinking.  $14k for 9 months in a dorm.  $800 for a 2 night stay (midweek) at Cedar Point.  Being excited when I saw gas was under $3.60 a gallon.  When did all this obsessing over the cost of things happen?  And then it dawned on me...

I've become the female equivalent of George Banks from the remake of the "Father of the Bride" movies.

While I'd normally be flattered to have anyone say I'm the female Steve Martin, I'm not sure this is the character or persona with which I want to be compared.  I mean, George is funny, loves his family, and really means well but he's also overly neurotic and a tightwad.  Actually, while I'm thinking of it, when did I become obsessed with how much I spend?  There was a time (before children) when I thought nothing of paying more than $200 a pair of shoes.  (Don't ask me how much my Christian Dior black suede pumps cost.  I'm still having nightmares about that one, even though I got over 15 years of wear out of them.)  Then... children came along.  And all my disposable income went towards stuff for them.  Musical instruments, cheerleading uniforms, soccer cleats, new eyeglasses, summer camp, school fundraisers, and more.  It's amazing how quick these little expenditures add up!

I swear I was on the verge of re-enacting the "hot dogs and hot dog buns" scene from "FotB" (you know, where George flips out about having to buy a package of 12 hot dog buns for 8 hot dogs and that he's not going to pay for one extra thing he doesn't need) when looking at potential vacation spots.  Why do I have to pay for a ride ticket for me at Cedar Point when there's no chance I'm going on any rides (thanks to the stupid pinched nerve in my back)?  Why can't I just get a pass to allow me to stay in the hotel and have access to walk around the park, watching my kids go on rides?  Why do I have to pay for ONE MORE THING I DON'T NEED?

Man, if I'm freaking out about this stuff now, what will I be like when the girls start getting married?  Will I be arguing about an Armani "nuffy-blue tuxado" the morning of?  Will I be offering to build a grandstand at the church for throngs of people to watch but steadfastly refuse to allow more than 150 guests at the reception?  I can only hope I wouldn't be tacky and rude enough to snoop through their future in-laws' desks, then break a mirror in their bathroom.  But, then again, I'm pretty sure George Banks wasn't intending to do that either.

Maybe I should just go to sleep and forget about vacations, money, Steve Martin movies from the '90s.  Perhaps I should be grateful I'm not turning into Freddy from "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels."  Of course, this could all just be a sign that I need to drive to Pittsburgh on July 1st to see Steve perform with Edie Brickell and The Steep Canyon Rangers at Heinz Hall.

C'est la vie.

Update on My Not-So-Exciting Life

A quick update on life and stuff...

I’m depressed that the kids have completely wrecked the house… yet again.  I swear, I don’t know how they do it.  One day, the house is clean and completely organized (a/k/a “company ready”) and the next, I go back to work and it looks like a tornado has gone through.  WHY?!?

They’re filming the sequel to Captain America next door to my office, so we get to deal with tons of cranes, etc. to set up the “shoot” for the next week.  Actually, they’re only filming one day (Monday) but it looks like it’s going to take them 4 days to set up and 4 days to disassemble.  Oh well, could be worse.  When they were filming on the West Side of Cleveland, they shut down a major highway (and a bunch of roads downtown) for TWO WEEKS.

DD#1’s dorm has been reserved and the first payment made.  I’m still stunned at the cost, though - $14k for 9 months.  “Oh, but that’s for a double room (only one roommate) and includes telephone (local & long distance), TV and cable, WIFI, use of the fitness center, use of one of the communal kitchens on each floor, and a private bathroom. “  Yeah but that’s still more than the cost of my first car.  Holy shit!  Thankfully she has/had some awesome grandparents (my late mother left her and DD#2, because #3 & 4 weren’t around when she passed, money for college and my ex in-laws are paying the majority of the dorm) to help with this.  Oh, and this doesn’t include the $7k in tuition for the fall semester and the approx. $800 in books and materials.  *smh*

We spent Thursday and Friday of last week with DD#2 at the doctor’s.  She sprained her ankle three months ago and about a month ago we noticed some rash-like discoloration and swelling in her lower leg.  First our pediatrician sent us to a dermatologist because of the rash.  Apparently it’s not a real rash but just discoloration.  However, combined with the swelling, it could have been a sign of lupus.  Several blood tests later and, thankfully, it doesn’t appear to be lupus.  So, back to the pediatrician’s last Thursday.  She noticed the swelling and it must have really concerned her because she sent us to see two rheumatologists at Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital in Cleveland on Friday.  Over two hours of examinations later, and no one seems to know exactly what’s going on.  It could still be lupus (they ordered additional blood work) or it could be the sprain damaged some still developing blood vessels and they need time to “repair” themselves.  Either way, the doctors ordered more blood work (done on Saturday), an MRI (being done this morning), and physical therapy & orthotic shoe inserts (to help fix her gait, which has been thrown off because of the sprain.)  Hopefully we’re going to get an answer soon.  The good news, though, is that she can still spend a week in July as a counselor at her former summer camp (and be “the boss” of DD#3 & #4 who will be campers there this summer.)

Does anyone else do this:  Spend a day on the weekend, cooking for the upcoming week?  I spent Sunday prepping and freezing meals for during the week.  This way, I can call on my way home, ask DD#1 or #2 to take one out of the freezer, plop it in the oven at 425 degrees, and by the time I get home, it’s reheated and ready to go.  All I have to do is put the oven down to “keep warm” status, make a side dish and some veggies, and we’re good to go.  It’s almost like having a housewife (albeit one that doesn’t do laundry or wash the dishes) and we don’t have to order takeout or live on pasta.  Sorry but I’m not cooking a full dinner every night after working all day.  Once in a while, fine.  But every night?  Nah, just not gonna happen.

For those who are interested, this week’s frozen meals included marinated pork roast, barbecued chicken breasts, meatloaf, steaks with a red wine reduction sauce (I’ll have to share that recipe here later, it’s absolutely amazing and pretty easy!), and a pound of ground beef (cooked and frozen, ready to be added to a casserole when I feel like assembling one.)  Add in one pizza night and pasta (with a jar of my own spaghetti sauce that I canned earlier), and we’re good for the week!  Oh, I also cooked a pound of bacon for use in sandwiches and salads later during the week (convenient and so much better than the precooked stuff sold in the store – mine is much leaner and crispier.)

I also prep some veggies and make my own bagged salads (Target has reusable produce bags for $1 each and they’re the perfect size for this.  The ones I bought from Crate & Barrel are better for buying fresh produce but are too large for salads IMHO.)  That way, I can control exactly what goes in, it’s better for the environment (no more “individual use” plastic bags to dispose of), and quite frankly, it’s cheaper to buy several heads of romaine lettuce at Sam’s Club and other veggies like carrots, celery, baby spinach, etc. and make my own.  I’ve also found that DH & the DD’s are more likely to make a salad to eat with their lunches than if I just left the stuff in the fridge, unprepared.  All they have to do is grab a bag, portion out what they want, add some dressing, and *voila* salad.

Today during lunch, I need to plan out some dinners for next week and start working on my shopping list.  Since the highway’s back open, I’m tempted to make a run to West Side Market for meats on Saturday morning.  I’ll buy produce there only if I’m planning on using it in the next 2 or 3 days.  For whatever reason, it never seems to last as long as the stuff from Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s.  Maybe I should just stop by the farmer’s market in town on Friday, after work.  (I still can’t believe they’re not open on the weekend… only Fridays.  WTF kind of farmer’s market is that, right?!?)

Bye for now.

Life Lessons for My (Almost) 18 Year Old Daughter

Tomorrow, DD#1 turns 18 years old and in about two months, she leaves for college in NYC.  Wow.  Just saying that sentence raises all sorts of conflicting feelings.  I’m sad she’s leaving home but happy that she’s going to her first choice college.  I’m mad that she’ll be 500 miles away from home but thrilled she will still be surrounded by family and friends.  I’m afraid that she’ll get hurt and I won’t be there but I believe in the strong, confident young woman she’s become.

I was thinking earlier what advice I could give her about going out on her own.  What could I say that would encourage and inspire her to reach for her dreams and make them a reality?  After much consideration, I came up with the following:

Every morning, think of five things you’re grateful for and remember them.  They can be something as silly as the deli always having your favorite bagel with cream cheese in the morning or as profound as knowing you have enough money to guarantee you’ll eat (and caring enough about the homeless people on the sidewalk outside the deli that you can – and do – spare a dollar for them every now and then.)

Perform one random act of kindness a day.  Maybe wait a few seconds longer and hold the door open for someone with a lot of stuff in their arms.  Perhaps send someone an email or text letting them know how much they mean to you.  Maybe buy the person in line behind you a cup of coffee.  Just send out one beautiful random act a day.  You’ll make someone else’s day a little brighter, and you’ll be amazed at how much better it makes you feel.

Eat well.  Seriously.  Don’t result on crappy take-out, especially when you live in a city with some of the world’s best restaurants.  Remember that a little taste of something amazing is much better than a lot of something “average”.

Exercise.  I know you’ll be walking everywhere but take half an hour (or more) a day and really work up a sweat.  It’ll eventually become a habit and you’ll thank me when you are in your 40s and your metabolism slows down to a snail’s pace.  (Not that I know anything about that… lol)

Relax, meditate, pray, practice yoga, whatever for 10 minutes a day.  It’ll help you manage the stress you are bound to be experiencing.

Enjoy the good weather.  Walk in the sun.  Sit out and watch the sunset.  Grab an umbrella and walk in the rain, splash in the puddles.

Don’t wait until you know who you are to get started in life.  Most people don’t figure that out until they’re too old to change.  Just jump in with both feet!

Write the book you want to read.  Don't just passively get by.  Take charge of your life and LIVE IT on your terms.

If you don’t like the way something’s going, change it.  Write your own ending.  Remember, the children almost broken by what life throws them become the adults who are most capable of changing the world.

Use your hands.  Make bread, work with clay, whatever… don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty or that you’ll chip your manicure.

If and when you are part of a relationship, remember that you don’t have to do everything together.  It’s healthy to still have those little side projects and hobbies that don’t involve your significant other.

Want to know a big secret that’ll help you get far in life?  Do good work.  Be proud of it.  Own it.  And share it with other people.

Be nice.  The world’s a pretty small place and bad reputations tend to follow people wherever they move.

It’s okay to be boring.  You’ll actually get work done and life’s pretty enjoyable without all the drama that comes with living an “exciting” life.

Get some sleep. 

Take pride in your appearance and your surroundings.  Whether we like it or not, people form opinions on you based on how you look.  Taking 5 minutes every morning to make sure your clothes aren't completely wrinkled, your hair is brushed and your face is washed helps.  Keep your workspace neat.  It’s easier to find things when they’re put back where they belong.

Learn how to say “no” and to not be everyone’s door mat.  Don’t let people walk all over you.

Laugh.  A lot.  Find the humor in bad situations.  It might make all the difference in how you handle the issue.

When confronted with a big problem, think:  Will this matter in 10 years?  1 year?  A month?  An hour?  Keep things in perspective.

Don’t waste your energy on the wrong people.  Focus on the people who make you happy and like you for being you.  Be someone’s reason to smile.  But don’t give your heart to just anyone.  It’s better to be single instead of repeatedly having your heart broken by “the wrong ones.” 

Know who you are and what you want in life, and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Remember your sisters were your first friends in life and will always be the ones who have your back.

And, most of all, remember you are loved.  You have graced my life and made it all the more wonderful these past 18 years, and I am thankful that I get to call myself your mom.  While I’m going to miss you being at the table and having to yell at you to take your headphones off or reminding you to put in your retainers before going to sleep at night, I am so excited to watch you soar.  It’s time for me to step back because, well, honey, you’ve got this.

Love,

Mom

PS:  And to quote Jason Mraz, “Just know, that wherever you go, no you’re never alone, you will always get back home.”

I'm Back (and Didn't Require Bail Money to Survive This Weekend!)

Well, now that things have slowed down a bit, I thought I'd take a minute to update everything.  Saturday morning, DD#1 graduated high school (along with 652 other students.)  She's had a rough go the past 5 years (she has had to deal with a fellow student stalking and harassing her since 7th grade) but she finished and did it with a good GPA, to boot!  We're so proud!

And because DD#1 was graduating, it meant my ex-husband and his parents were in town to celebrate with us.  Normally my ex makes me want to get all stabby but he somewhat behaved himself (other than the "we're not screaming, we're just disagreeing with each other in loud voices" incident at the Japanese restaurant Friday night, which resulted in DD#1 walking out of the restaurant - LOOONNNNGGGG story that I just don't have the energy to discuss.)  For the first time in years, I was around him and not wanting to do something that would require DH or a good friend to provide bail money.  This was also the first time in the 14+ years DH & I have been together that DH's incredibly awesome brother got to meet my ex-husband.  I'm still not sure how they never met before.

As usual, I had a lovely time with his parents.  I really do like them.  The amount of love and concern they show DD's #1 & 2 is amazing (and the fact they love DD's #3 & #4 really speaks volumes about them.)

All in all, it was a very good weekend.  Here's hoping that, when we do this again in a year for DD#2, we have a similar experience.  *fingers crossed*

And... that was basically the gist of my entire weekend (Friday - Sunday.)  Just dealing with the conflicting emotions of being proud of DD#1 for graduating, being happy that she's going on to bigger and better things, being excited that her life is really starting to take flight, being sad that she won't be around every day, and being stunned wondering where all the time went, as she turns 18 on Thursday.  I swear she was just 5 years old and rolling her eyes at me when I attempted to kiss her goodbye on the first day of kindergarten.  Where did it all go?  I guess all I can do is sit back and hope we raised her well enough to be become a productive member of society.  Based on the poised and confident young woman I saw walk across the stage to accept her diploma, I think we did okay.

Now it's just time to sit back and rest up, for Thursday's going to be big.  DD#1 turns 18, it's the last day of school for DD's #2 - 4, DD#2 has a doctor's appointment later in the day (hopefully we get some answers about the mysterious reddish/purple blotches on her leg), and I get to make a red velvet cake.  Naturally, I'm taking a half day, so I can attempt to do everything.  Although if it does get hectic, I can always run over to White Flower Cake Shoppe in Beachwood and grab some red velvet cupcakes (seriously, if you're ever in Northeast Ohio and you want to try the best cakes ever, White Flower is a MUST SEE!)

Oh, one last thing... is it possible for my house to stay clean longer than a day or two?  The house was cleaned to "visitor" level on Friday and was completely trashed by Saturday evening, thanks to all the party stuff that came home from the park where we had the party.  Maybe if I stopped playing Candy Crush and reading Fark.com, I might have the energy to clean up more.... NAH.  lol

Gotta run.  Words With Friends is calling.  : )

All Stressed Out and No One to Choke

My oldest daughter is graduating high school Saturday.  While I'm happy for her and am excited for the party we have planned for Saturday afternoon, there's one part I'm dreading - having to get the house to "guest" level of clean.  You see, I'm OCD and if I had my way, my house would be perfectly organized.  Unfortunately, I live with five other people and only ONE of them (DD#4) thinks like me.  The remaining 4 are, well let's just say, not as concerned with organization as we are.  So, while my house was cleaned and organized this past weekend, it's a wreck tonight.  And, naturally, no one is doing anything.  I'm about to grab my daughter's softball bat and smash the WiFi router.  But then I wouldn't be able to post this blog update and I'd be forced to get off Facebook and stop playing Crack Crush... uhh, I mean Candy Crush.  (I know I'm not the only person addicted to it.  Right?)  Plus I'd end up having to buy a new router and I don't have time to do that this weekend.

So, I really should be washing the dishes - or yelling at the kids to get the dishes done.  Then there's the whole sweeping and washing the floors.  I have a love/hate relationship with my floors - all the floors in our house are either hardwood or tile.  I love the convenience of just sweeping up messes but damn do I hate having to wash the floors.  Granted it gives my upper body a nice workout but I just don't want to do it when there are people home.  Maybe I can do it tomorrow afternoon, while DH is at work and DD's #2, 3, & 4 are in school.  DD#1 will be home but she's too busy freaking out about the possibility of tripping over her gown to really be much help.

Couple all this with the fact I need to find time to dye my hair (prematurely grey and I don't need the various comments about my 1 1/2" of grey roots), get my hair cut (hopefully I can get that squeezed in tomorrow morning), make the blueberry muffins that I didn't make last night (did I mention I'm addicted to Facebook?), go to Walmart and buy paper plates/tablecloths/cups/etc. for the party, and give myself a mani/pedi.  So what am I doing right now?  Sitting on the couch, writing another blog post and trying to ignore the constant nagging feeling that I must be forgetting something that's super important for this weekend that I don't have on a list yet.  Yes, I am a list-maker.  It keeps me sane.

Oh well, time for me to get off-line and get started.  Otherwise you'll be seeing a blog post Saturday night about how everything fell apart because I was too busy blogging, making pretty collages on Pinterest, and playing Candy Crush.

*****No recipe to share tonight.  DH made dinner... well, he started it and I ended up cooking the rest of it.  (Homemade version of Hamburger Helper - 2 boxes of organic shells and alfredo sauce from Whole Foods with a pound of extra-lean ground beef, browned and drained, and half a bag of frozen organic peas.  Not a typical meal for our family but it was surprisingly delicious.)

Shiny, Happy People Holding Hands

No explanation for the title of tonight's blog.  I've just had that song stuck in my head all day and thought I'd share the ear worm.  Sorry!

Anywho, after dealing with the day that would never end at work, I finally came home... to a house completely destroyed by my 4 darling daughters.  Seriously?  You can't be bothered to place your shoes on the shoe rack in the entryway or put your backpacks where they go without Mom yelling at you to do so?  Then I got to explain to DD#1 that doing a half-ass job on washing dishes will make everyone sick... again.  Then I, again, showed her how to properly wash dishes while the pasta water was waiting to boil.  Maybe one of these days (hopefully before she moves to her dorm in August) she'll FINALLY get the concept.  Then, again, I'm already planning on buying each one of my girls a copy of the Martha Stewart Housekeeping Handbook  of their own.  (You know, the book that inspired my other blog from '09.  Oh, and it covers manually washing dishes on pages 64 & 65.  You're welcome.)

Dinner ended up being my emergency "Oh crap!  I forgot about dinner!" meal - pasta with sauce and garlic bread.  Tonight's pasta was cheese tortellini and the sauce was vodka sauce.  I'm just annoyed I didn't have any pancetta.  A half pound of pancetta, diced and sauteed until crispy and brown, then tossed into vodka sauce is absolute heaven.  (Mental note:  add pancetta to grocery list.)

I was hoping I'd get a chance to bake lemon poppyseed scones and blueberry buttermilk muffins tonight but that didn't happen.  Hell, the DD's didn't even bother to wash the dinner dishes.  *sigh*  Maybe I can bribe the DH into doing them?  I really DON'T feel up to doing them.

I'm wondering if I can convince the boss to let me take a half-day tomorrow (I'm already off on Friday) but I don't think that will happen.  We've just started the month-end closing process for our financial books.  Uggh!  All I want is an hour or two to myself with no work, no kids, no husband, no phone... just me and Candy Crush... or maybe some uninterrupted crocheting time and a nice cup of English or Irish Breakfast Tea.

Earlier tonight I spent an hour or so making a music playlist for DD#1's high school graduation party.  It's much easier (and cheaper) to just program a playlist on iTunes, hook up some speakers, and play that instead of hiring a DJ or renting a "DJ in a Box" (10,000 songs that I'm sure my daughter would like maybe a hundred of with a set of speakers... all for the low, low rental price of $250 a day.  And that's the high school grad party "special" price from the rental place.  Totally not going to happen.)  While I'm still horrified by her intense adoration of Madonna, Lady Gaga and Britney (a/k/a overly commercialized made-for-radio auto-tuned music), I was very happily surprised when she asked me to add The Ramones, Weezer, Muse, and Jason Mraz to the list.  YAY!

Well, maybe I'll actually get some of that baking done after all.  I'm thinking I'm going with the blueberry muffins tonight.  Nothing like waking up to fresh muffins in the morning.  Plus I got an amazing deal on organic blueberries last week ($1.99 a pint!) and I want to use the one pint I didn't freeze before they start going bad.

Good night.

*****Tonight's Recipe:  Blueberry Buttermilk Muffins
2 1/2 C flour
1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
3/4 C sugar
1/4 tsp. salt
2 eggs, beaten
1 C buttermilk
4 oz. butter, melted and slightly browned
1 1/2 C blueberries
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Sift dry ingredients together in a large bowl.  In another bowl, whisk eggs, buttermilk, butter, and vanilla.  Make a well in dry ingredients and pour in liquid ingredients, mixing quickly.  Fold in blueberries.

Spoon batter into greased or lined muffin cups and bake in a preheated 400 degree F oven for 20 - 30 minutes, until golden brown.

(Super easy recipe and they taste OMG AMAZING!)

Quick Little Mid-Morning Post: Oh crap, I forgot to take something out for dinner!

Yep, it's going to be one of those days.  Today is DD#1's first day out of high school (she finished finals yesterday and graduates on Saturday - OMG!), so that kind of screwed up my morning a bit.  It's natural that I'm freaking out about her being done with school, right?  I still can't believe she'll be leaving for college in NYC some time during August.  I swear she was only 10 years old, then I blinked, and she turned almost 18.  Where did the time go?!?

And, naturally, because it had nothing to do with this or the amount of sleep I had last night (yeah right), I totally forgot to take something out of the freezer for dinner tonight.  I know I'm not the only one but it drives me nuts.  I'm a real over-planner (just ask DH) and I hate not being in control.  I'm not a control freak, really.  I just like things done as planned and... and... oh wait.  I guess I may be.  (DH and the kiddies better quit laughing right now!)

Back to my lack of planning for tonight's dinner.  Because I didn't take anything out, I'm going to end up spending the rest of my work day try to figure out what I'm going to make (pasta again?) and will my two picky eaters (DD#1 & DD#4) actually eat it.  My kids are lucky they didn't grow up with my mom.  When I was growing up, you ate what she cooked.  If you refused to eat it for dinner, guess what?  You were sent  to your room (in the Stone Ages when I grew up, there were no electronic devices in your room to entertain you during this time) and when you came out, your dinner was STILL SITTING ON THE TABLE FOR YOU TO EAT.  It truly was a case of "I don't care if you like liver and onions, you're going to eat them because that's what I made for dinner."  The only time I got out of eating the dinner my mother cooked was when she made fish but that's because I'm allergic to iodine and most seafood.

Anywho, I'm guessing we're looking at pasta for dinner.  Maybe tortellini with vodka sauce and garlic bread and salad on the side?  Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

I'm sure I'll be writing something later.

Until then...

My Better Half and Why I Will NEVER Leave Him

My Darling Husband (or DH, for short) is just like Mary Poppins - "Practically perfect in every way."  Seriously.  Don't believe me?  Check this out:

• He has a day off during the regular work week and has no problems taking any one of the girls (my 2 older daughters from my first marriage or my 2 younger daughters from our marriage) to the doctor.  

• He gets up with the 2 older girls in the morning at WTF-o'clock (a/k/a any time before 6:00am) so I can get an extra hour or so of sleep.

• He cooks dinner on his weekday off (sorry, but Sunday is his other usual day off and I really like making Sunday dinners.)  

• He makes me smile with stupid puns, quotes from "Monty Python" and "The Princess Bride", and Doctor Who references.

• He'll DVR "Game of Thrones" (his favorite show) so I can watch "Mad Men" (my favorite show) on Sunday nights.

• He is actually the first man I've been involved with romantically who's not threatened by the fact that I'm smart (it's so nice knowing that I don't have to hide the copies of The Wall St. Journal I bring home with me from work or that I don't have to pretend to not know what's going on, politically)

• He does dishes... manually, as we have no dishwasher!

• And, perhaps the biggest reason of all?  HE DOES LAUNDRY!  He even sorts it and stain treats better than I do.  Even more impressive is that he's not overwhelmed when he walks into the laundry room and sees what FlyLady lovingly calls "Mount Washmore."  He just makes sure he has hangers ready, grabs the nearest pile, starts sorting, then washes, dries, and hangs up/folds.  The only parts I need to do are (1) make sure he's sorted the kids' clothes properly so they end up in the right bedroom closets and (2) match up socks and underwear.

• Oh yeah, almost forgot the biggest reason:  He loves me AND my kids unconditionally.  When we met, I was recently divorced with 2 small kids (Darling Daughters - DD - #1 & #2.)  Most guys would have run away so fast, they would have left skid marks.  Not my DH!  I guess he liked the challenge because here we are, 14 years later and we added 2 more DD's to the mix.  Yes, he lives in a house with a wife and FOUR DAUGHTERS.  Brave soul, huh? 

Yes, folks, I have found the rarest of gems.  A man who isn't afraid of a little housework and who seems to have no problem living in a house full of females.  (Somehow I think someone may have misinterpreted a teenage wish of his to "live in a house full of adoring women" to mean a wife and 4 daughters.)

Ladies, jealous yet?  lol

*****Tonight's Dinner - I figured I'd share my quickly thrown together dinner from earlier tonight.  I took a pound of boneless/skinless chicken thighs, sliced them up, tossed with a bit of olive oil, a pound of mini fingerling potatoes (the ones in the little yellow mesh bag from Trader Joe's), a small chopped yellow onion, a sliced large-sized bell pepper, some garlic, red wine vinegar, a can of organic chick peas (I don't typically use commercially canned products but I hate reconstituting dried beans and peas), and a large fresh tomato, chopped up.  I tossed everything together in a deep skillet and cooked until chicken was done.  Just before serving, I adjusted the seasonings with a bit of basil, oregano, kosher salt, and freshly ground black pepper.  You can also add black olives and a little grated Parmesan cheese, if you like.  I didn't this time because, well, I didn't feel like it.

One skillet, less than 30 minutes, and so much healthier than grabbing take-out.  

Hellloooo there!

Hello!  A little about me...

I'm Mary.  I live in Northeast Ohio (by choice) with my incredibly patient husband and 4 daughters who incredibly try my patience.  I'm also one of the biggest cheerleaders for the city of Cleveland and Northeast Ohio, in general.  Maybe it's because I'm not originally from here but I do appreciate and love my adopted hometown.

I work for a world-renowned nonprofit organization which I will not name in this blog... ever.  Sorry, but I don't want my blog tied in any way, shape, or form to my employment - I really like that "getting a paycheck" thingy.  I will share that I work in Finance and there are weeks where I feel like I need Peter's occupational hypnotherapist from "Office Space" to get through the week.  (Wait, do they really exist?)

I have an unhealthy obsession with Facebook and if I could find a way to get paid for playing on Pinterest, I totally would.  I don't really watch much TV, just "Sherlock" (the BBC version, not that crappy American thing with a female Dr. Watson - WTF?), "Mad Men", "Boardwalk Empire", "Doctor Who", "Warehouse 13", "Vikings" (is that still on?), and "Game of Thrones".  Occasionally I'll watch part of an episode of "Saturday Night Live" but I loathe reality TV and that's all that seems to be on nowadays.

I have a twisted sense of humor (the night I met my husband, we bonded over Monty Python) and I tend to regularly put my foot in my mouth.  I'm a fan of Kevin Smith so that should give you real insight into my humor right there.  If a movie has Alan Rickman or Sean Connery in it, I can just about guarantee I've seen it multiple times.  I regularly quote lines from "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", "Empire Records", "Love, Actually", "Dazed and Confused", "Office Space", "Idiocracy" and every Brat Pack movie ever made.  "Dodgeball" may be the funniest movie of the last 10 years (no, I don't care if you agree with me or not.)

I come from a huge family (I'm the youngest of 8) but only speak to 2 of my siblings regularly, and both my parents and my husband's parents are deceased.  As such, I've created a lovely patchwork "surrogate family" of extended family, friends, and ex in-laws.  (Much less stressful that way.)  In fact, I'm one of the few people I know who's friends with their ex-husband's parents!

I have been battling major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, ADHD, etc. for more years than I care to admit.  Later this month, I will hit my 7 year "sober-versary" and I'm really proud of that.  (Yes, I'll probably share my story with you all but just not tonight.)

I spend more time at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's than any place outside of work and home.  And West Side Market is probably my favorite thing about living in Northeast Ohio.  If you live near Cleveland (or find yourself here one weekend), WSM truly is a "must see" place.  The month they were closed earlier this year because of the fire was the longest month of my adult life.  I cut down our meat consumption and used up my "stash" from the freezer, to avoid buying anything from the grocery store.  Seriously, their butchers and the quality are that good.  

And I'm a frustrated domestic goddess.  One part that I truly miss about being a stay-at-home housewife and mother (other than extra time with the husband and kiddies) is being able to spend my day cooking, organizing, and crafting.  Yeah, I'm one of those people who actually make all their own holiday cards every year and deliver baked goodies to the neighbors every winter.  I make and "can" my own jams, spaghetti sauces, vegetables, etc.  I'm hoping we'll have enough organic fruits and veggies from our garden this year to "put up" enough jars to get us through winter.  I'm trying to bring my family to a completely organic, non-GMO diet but how strictly I follow that directly correlates to our weekly grocery budget.  (If money's tight, I'm not going to forgo apples and grapes because they're not organic.)  I use reusable grocery bags and produce bags.  I even make my own pre-bagged salad mixes and store them in smaller reusable produce bags (Target sells these bags for $1 a piece - still much cheaper than spending $3 for a prepackaged salad mix at the grocery store and it's better for the environment.)

Why am I starting this blog, you say?  Well, my life is truly stranger than fiction and I need some place to record it.  Oh, and I like to share recipes, housekeeping tips, and crafting ideas.  Might as well file them all into one space, right?  And, naturally, I encourage you to try them out or share your own ideas... or just laugh at my mistakes.

Sláinte!

Mary