I'm BACK!

After forgoing my blog for a Facebook group, I've decided that I'd rather be here.  I may not get as many readers here but I don't really care.  I like the flexibility of a blog.

In the time since I last wrote, DD#1 decided to change majors... and moved back home.  DD#2 graduated high school and... decided to not go away for her freshman year of college.  So, yes, both of my college-age kids are back home.  :\  DD#3 joined her middle school's Science Olympiad team... and they went to Nationals (came in 23rd) this month.  And DD#4 may be ADHD... just like everyone else in our family.  (No big shock there.)  DH is still the same goofy, happy guy he's always been.

And me, well, I rejoined Weight Watchers and lost 50 lbs. in less than 10 months... and kept it off for almost a year.  *fingers crossed*

Actually I can't afford to gain the weight back.  I gave away all my old clothes and I've spent WAY too much money on my new, cute wardrobe.

Anyway, I'm back and am still cooking, cleaning, and trying to keep my sanity.  Well, whatever little bit of sanity I ever had but still, I'm not really ready to give it up.  lol

Look for lots of food posts.  Since I'm on Weight Watchers, I've become obsessed with finding healthier alternatives to my beloved fatty, highly caloric foods.

Oh well, gotta get some sleep.

M

Do They Sell "I Survived the Great College Move of 2013" T-Shirts?

Well, first up, I apologize for not updating the blog or Facebook for little while but we were doing something heartbreaking and wonderful... moving DD#1 to college.  I've spent the last month helping her pack, reviewing general "living on your own skills" (like making pasta, doing laundry properly, grocery shopping, etc.), buying tons of supplies (while I love the fact the room came "fully furnished", I really wish the dorm offered a meal plan - more on that later), and moving her 500 miles from home.

We just arrived back home this afternoon and I'm still amazed that it all happened so seamlessly.  The only "forgotten" thing was a corded telephone for her desk, in case they lose power and she can't use her cell phone, and that was fixed by a quick trip to Radio Shack.

So, let's recap the last 4 days...

Friday morning, up at regular time and get the youngest 2 off to school (DD#2 is capable of waking up and getting herself off to high school by herself.)  After getting the girls on the bus, DD#1 visited quickly with a couple of our neighbors while we started to load the car.  Rather than putting the mileage on my (very recently repaired) SUV, we decided to rent one for the trip.  Unfortunately it was a little smaller than mine and, naturally, not everything fit in the back or on the back seat with DD#1, so we had to improvise a bit.  All the groceries DD#1 purchased in advance of her trip (we figured it would be easier - and cheaper - to shop here at home instead of in NYC) were moved from the large storage tote box and moved to the reusable shopping bags I gave her for her use while at school.  Then we had to be "creative" with storing the remaining 2 storage bins of clothing, the kitchen-sized trash can (no, the room didn't come with one), the cleaning supplies (because she actually expects me to believe she'll keep her dorm room cleaner than her bedroom at home - ha!), bedding, etc.  Finally, we were off for a lovely 500+ mile drive from our house to my brother-in-law's home, where we were staying for the trip.  (He's beyond awesome to allow us to stay with him whenever we visit back east.  Considering he's single and lives alone, it's got to be a HUGE culture shock to have guests and children at his house every time.)

Saturday morning, DH, DD#1, and I headed from Stamford, CT to NYC, and I remembered why I hated driving into the city.  An approximate 45 mile drive should NOT have to take over 90 minutes.  (Another reason I love living where I do in the Midwest is that this almost never happens here unless there's a horrible accident or tons of snow... none of which were factor on Saturday in NYC.)  We were lucky to find on-street parking less than 3 blocks from the dorm.  Score!  Over two hours later, DD#1's side of the room was organized and unpacked.  (Her roommate still hasn't moved in yet but I was nice enough to clean her side of the room as well, so she doesn't have to come in to dust bunnies in the corners.)  All that remained was for a final trip to Ikea for dishes, cookware, etc.  To my dismay, DD#1 didn't want to go with us, so DH, his brother, and I went up to the one in New Haven on Sunday morning, then DH & I (and my BFF's mother) drove back down to the city afterwards.

DD#1's dorm is really in a fantastic neighborhood.  NYC's Upper East Side, on Third Avenue.  The view from her room is very nice and the building is SO cool (24 hour security, full gym, laundry facilities, fridge and microwave in every dorm room and a full kitchen on every couple of floors -- DD#1's room is about 3 rooms away from the one on her floor, etc.)  The only thing that would make it perfect is if her college or her dorm had a meal plan.  Unfortunately, the school is a small fine arts college (less than 1,000 students!) and it's not feasible for them to offer one and the dorm is used by at least 8 different colleges around the city and it would be overwhelming for them to offer one.  So, in what could be really good (or really bad, but I'm going to focus on the good) move, DD#1 is being forced to shop for groceries and cook her meals.  In theory, it will be healthier and probably cost less; however, I'm afraid she'll decide to live on a diet of Ramen noodles and "Easy Mac".

And today was the lonely drive home.  For the first time in years, DH & I were able to make the drive home in under 9 hours.  And it would have been shorter if we didn't have a side trip to my favorite Italian bakery in Port Chester, NY (a girl's gotta have her NY deli-style hard rolls and I promised DD#2's boyfriend's mother a box of Italian butter cookies) and 2 pit stops for coffee (we packed sandwiches at my brother-in-law's house, so we didn't have to eat fast food on the road.)

Coming home was great (my sister and one of her adult children stayed at our house over the weekend and babysat DD#2, 3 & 4 because they started school already and I didn't want them to miss 2 days the first week.)  My house was clean!  They even cleaned up the mess we made when, at the last minute, we had to remove some stuff that couldn't fit in the car.  Love them for that!  Actually, I'm not sure "great" is the right word.  Coming home to only 3 kids was definitely bittersweet.  DD#1 is really an adult and is living on her own, albeit in a dorm, and while I'm happy for her, I'm still sad that she doesn't need me to make sure she's going to school and doing her homework and going to bed at a reasonable time.  But watching her eat dinner on Sunday, knowing she prepared it herself, with her own groceries, using her own kitchen pots and pans and utensils really made me tear up.  Her telling me about running to the market to buy some broccoli for a snack the night before was good.  And when she told me that she found a Unitarian church (the faith she's been raised in since she was about 7 years old) near her dorm and that she's considering going to church while away at school choked me up big time, as she said she was "taking a break" from church earlier this year.

She's sweet, smart, living on her own, and grabbing life with both hands.  She's doing something that I didn't do at that age (I lived at home while going to a local university when I was her age.)  I'm proud of her!  To think I had something to do with creating and molding this amazing young woman makes me choke up... again.  This time next year is going to suck because it'll be both DD#1 and 2 going away to school.  (Might be a good time to buy stock in tissue companies.  lol)

And now I'm off to finish unpacking and doing laundry.

Good night!

Am I a Bad Parent if I Occasionally Need to Get Away From My Kids?

In July, all 4 of my kids will be out of the house for a week.  DD#1 will be with her biological father in Florida for 3 weeks, and the 3 younger DD's will be at sleepaway summer camp.  While I was relishing the first week without any of my kids in the 18 years I've been a parent (excluding a week in the hospital 7 years ago), I mentioned this to a friend.  This friend said that she's the opposite, she loves having her kids around all the time.

And that got me to thinking... does wanting to escape my kids for a week make me a bad parent?  It's not like I'm taking a week off from work (I'm planning on taking 2 days, so I can clean the basement without hearing "But Mom I need that *fill in the blank*!") or going away while they're not home.  I'm just looking forward to not hearing "Mom... Mom... MOM!" and not having to cook dinner if I don't feel like it.  (DH can throw something together for himself, if I do that.  lol)  Oh, and being able to use the bathroom without someone knocking on the door.

Does that make me a bad parent?  Or does it make me a wise parent because I'm realizing I need an occasional break from being responsible for everything?  I was thinking that a week to recharge my batteries while the kids were off having their own adventures would make things better for everyone involved.  Now I'm afraid that maybe I'm looking forward to that little freedom a little too much.  What say you?

Mary

*****Tonight's dinner:  Italian Chicken and Pasta

1.5 lbs. boneless/skinless chicken breasts, cut into strips

1 Tbsp. olive oil

1 medium yellow onion, sliced 

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 medium tomatoes, chopped

1/8 C Italian seasoning (or you could use a mix of fresh basil and oregano, if you got it)

1 can Cannelli beans, drained and rinsed

3 pieces of bacon, cooked and chopped into small pieces

1 quart of homemade spaghetti sauce

1 C shredded Italian cheese blend (I used Sargento's 6 cheese Italian blend)

Parmesan cheese, grated

Salt & pepper, to taste

1 lb. cooked pasta (I used fusilli, but you could use anything)

Brown the chicken in the olive oil, and cook until done.  Add onion and garlic, cook for a few minutes.  Stir in tomatoes, seasoning, beans, and bacon.  Cook until everything's warmed through and hot.  Stir in sauce, cheeses and salt & pepper.  Cook until hot, then toss in cooked pasta.  Serve with garlic bread and olives on the side.  (You could add the olives to the chicken and pasta as well, but one of my kids prefers the olives plain.)

*This is a "nothing fancy" dinner that really hits the spot when you don't know what to make.  Oh, and it only takes about 30 minutes.  (Take that, Rachael Ray!  You don't need to stoop to using pre-made sauces and crap to make a good 30 minute meal.  lol)

Update on My Not-So-Exciting Life

A quick update on life and stuff...

I’m depressed that the kids have completely wrecked the house… yet again.  I swear, I don’t know how they do it.  One day, the house is clean and completely organized (a/k/a “company ready”) and the next, I go back to work and it looks like a tornado has gone through.  WHY?!?

They’re filming the sequel to Captain America next door to my office, so we get to deal with tons of cranes, etc. to set up the “shoot” for the next week.  Actually, they’re only filming one day (Monday) but it looks like it’s going to take them 4 days to set up and 4 days to disassemble.  Oh well, could be worse.  When they were filming on the West Side of Cleveland, they shut down a major highway (and a bunch of roads downtown) for TWO WEEKS.

DD#1’s dorm has been reserved and the first payment made.  I’m still stunned at the cost, though - $14k for 9 months.  “Oh, but that’s for a double room (only one roommate) and includes telephone (local & long distance), TV and cable, WIFI, use of the fitness center, use of one of the communal kitchens on each floor, and a private bathroom. “  Yeah but that’s still more than the cost of my first car.  Holy shit!  Thankfully she has/had some awesome grandparents (my late mother left her and DD#2, because #3 & 4 weren’t around when she passed, money for college and my ex in-laws are paying the majority of the dorm) to help with this.  Oh, and this doesn’t include the $7k in tuition for the fall semester and the approx. $800 in books and materials.  *smh*

We spent Thursday and Friday of last week with DD#2 at the doctor’s.  She sprained her ankle three months ago and about a month ago we noticed some rash-like discoloration and swelling in her lower leg.  First our pediatrician sent us to a dermatologist because of the rash.  Apparently it’s not a real rash but just discoloration.  However, combined with the swelling, it could have been a sign of lupus.  Several blood tests later and, thankfully, it doesn’t appear to be lupus.  So, back to the pediatrician’s last Thursday.  She noticed the swelling and it must have really concerned her because she sent us to see two rheumatologists at Rainbow Babies and Children’s Hospital in Cleveland on Friday.  Over two hours of examinations later, and no one seems to know exactly what’s going on.  It could still be lupus (they ordered additional blood work) or it could be the sprain damaged some still developing blood vessels and they need time to “repair” themselves.  Either way, the doctors ordered more blood work (done on Saturday), an MRI (being done this morning), and physical therapy & orthotic shoe inserts (to help fix her gait, which has been thrown off because of the sprain.)  Hopefully we’re going to get an answer soon.  The good news, though, is that she can still spend a week in July as a counselor at her former summer camp (and be “the boss” of DD#3 & #4 who will be campers there this summer.)

Does anyone else do this:  Spend a day on the weekend, cooking for the upcoming week?  I spent Sunday prepping and freezing meals for during the week.  This way, I can call on my way home, ask DD#1 or #2 to take one out of the freezer, plop it in the oven at 425 degrees, and by the time I get home, it’s reheated and ready to go.  All I have to do is put the oven down to “keep warm” status, make a side dish and some veggies, and we’re good to go.  It’s almost like having a housewife (albeit one that doesn’t do laundry or wash the dishes) and we don’t have to order takeout or live on pasta.  Sorry but I’m not cooking a full dinner every night after working all day.  Once in a while, fine.  But every night?  Nah, just not gonna happen.

For those who are interested, this week’s frozen meals included marinated pork roast, barbecued chicken breasts, meatloaf, steaks with a red wine reduction sauce (I’ll have to share that recipe here later, it’s absolutely amazing and pretty easy!), and a pound of ground beef (cooked and frozen, ready to be added to a casserole when I feel like assembling one.)  Add in one pizza night and pasta (with a jar of my own spaghetti sauce that I canned earlier), and we’re good for the week!  Oh, I also cooked a pound of bacon for use in sandwiches and salads later during the week (convenient and so much better than the precooked stuff sold in the store – mine is much leaner and crispier.)

I also prep some veggies and make my own bagged salads (Target has reusable produce bags for $1 each and they’re the perfect size for this.  The ones I bought from Crate & Barrel are better for buying fresh produce but are too large for salads IMHO.)  That way, I can control exactly what goes in, it’s better for the environment (no more “individual use” plastic bags to dispose of), and quite frankly, it’s cheaper to buy several heads of romaine lettuce at Sam’s Club and other veggies like carrots, celery, baby spinach, etc. and make my own.  I’ve also found that DH & the DD’s are more likely to make a salad to eat with their lunches than if I just left the stuff in the fridge, unprepared.  All they have to do is grab a bag, portion out what they want, add some dressing, and *voila* salad.

Today during lunch, I need to plan out some dinners for next week and start working on my shopping list.  Since the highway’s back open, I’m tempted to make a run to West Side Market for meats on Saturday morning.  I’ll buy produce there only if I’m planning on using it in the next 2 or 3 days.  For whatever reason, it never seems to last as long as the stuff from Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s.  Maybe I should just stop by the farmer’s market in town on Friday, after work.  (I still can’t believe they’re not open on the weekend… only Fridays.  WTF kind of farmer’s market is that, right?!?)

Bye for now.

Life Lessons for My (Almost) 18 Year Old Daughter

Tomorrow, DD#1 turns 18 years old and in about two months, she leaves for college in NYC.  Wow.  Just saying that sentence raises all sorts of conflicting feelings.  I’m sad she’s leaving home but happy that she’s going to her first choice college.  I’m mad that she’ll be 500 miles away from home but thrilled she will still be surrounded by family and friends.  I’m afraid that she’ll get hurt and I won’t be there but I believe in the strong, confident young woman she’s become.

I was thinking earlier what advice I could give her about going out on her own.  What could I say that would encourage and inspire her to reach for her dreams and make them a reality?  After much consideration, I came up with the following:

Every morning, think of five things you’re grateful for and remember them.  They can be something as silly as the deli always having your favorite bagel with cream cheese in the morning or as profound as knowing you have enough money to guarantee you’ll eat (and caring enough about the homeless people on the sidewalk outside the deli that you can – and do – spare a dollar for them every now and then.)

Perform one random act of kindness a day.  Maybe wait a few seconds longer and hold the door open for someone with a lot of stuff in their arms.  Perhaps send someone an email or text letting them know how much they mean to you.  Maybe buy the person in line behind you a cup of coffee.  Just send out one beautiful random act a day.  You’ll make someone else’s day a little brighter, and you’ll be amazed at how much better it makes you feel.

Eat well.  Seriously.  Don’t result on crappy take-out, especially when you live in a city with some of the world’s best restaurants.  Remember that a little taste of something amazing is much better than a lot of something “average”.

Exercise.  I know you’ll be walking everywhere but take half an hour (or more) a day and really work up a sweat.  It’ll eventually become a habit and you’ll thank me when you are in your 40s and your metabolism slows down to a snail’s pace.  (Not that I know anything about that… lol)

Relax, meditate, pray, practice yoga, whatever for 10 minutes a day.  It’ll help you manage the stress you are bound to be experiencing.

Enjoy the good weather.  Walk in the sun.  Sit out and watch the sunset.  Grab an umbrella and walk in the rain, splash in the puddles.

Don’t wait until you know who you are to get started in life.  Most people don’t figure that out until they’re too old to change.  Just jump in with both feet!

Write the book you want to read.  Don't just passively get by.  Take charge of your life and LIVE IT on your terms.

If you don’t like the way something’s going, change it.  Write your own ending.  Remember, the children almost broken by what life throws them become the adults who are most capable of changing the world.

Use your hands.  Make bread, work with clay, whatever… don’t be afraid to get your hands dirty or that you’ll chip your manicure.

If and when you are part of a relationship, remember that you don’t have to do everything together.  It’s healthy to still have those little side projects and hobbies that don’t involve your significant other.

Want to know a big secret that’ll help you get far in life?  Do good work.  Be proud of it.  Own it.  And share it with other people.

Be nice.  The world’s a pretty small place and bad reputations tend to follow people wherever they move.

It’s okay to be boring.  You’ll actually get work done and life’s pretty enjoyable without all the drama that comes with living an “exciting” life.

Get some sleep. 

Take pride in your appearance and your surroundings.  Whether we like it or not, people form opinions on you based on how you look.  Taking 5 minutes every morning to make sure your clothes aren't completely wrinkled, your hair is brushed and your face is washed helps.  Keep your workspace neat.  It’s easier to find things when they’re put back where they belong.

Learn how to say “no” and to not be everyone’s door mat.  Don’t let people walk all over you.

Laugh.  A lot.  Find the humor in bad situations.  It might make all the difference in how you handle the issue.

When confronted with a big problem, think:  Will this matter in 10 years?  1 year?  A month?  An hour?  Keep things in perspective.

Don’t waste your energy on the wrong people.  Focus on the people who make you happy and like you for being you.  Be someone’s reason to smile.  But don’t give your heart to just anyone.  It’s better to be single instead of repeatedly having your heart broken by “the wrong ones.” 

Know who you are and what you want in life, and don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Remember your sisters were your first friends in life and will always be the ones who have your back.

And, most of all, remember you are loved.  You have graced my life and made it all the more wonderful these past 18 years, and I am thankful that I get to call myself your mom.  While I’m going to miss you being at the table and having to yell at you to take your headphones off or reminding you to put in your retainers before going to sleep at night, I am so excited to watch you soar.  It’s time for me to step back because, well, honey, you’ve got this.

Love,

Mom

PS:  And to quote Jason Mraz, “Just know, that wherever you go, no you’re never alone, you will always get back home.”

I'm Back (and Didn't Require Bail Money to Survive This Weekend!)

Well, now that things have slowed down a bit, I thought I'd take a minute to update everything.  Saturday morning, DD#1 graduated high school (along with 652 other students.)  She's had a rough go the past 5 years (she has had to deal with a fellow student stalking and harassing her since 7th grade) but she finished and did it with a good GPA, to boot!  We're so proud!

And because DD#1 was graduating, it meant my ex-husband and his parents were in town to celebrate with us.  Normally my ex makes me want to get all stabby but he somewhat behaved himself (other than the "we're not screaming, we're just disagreeing with each other in loud voices" incident at the Japanese restaurant Friday night, which resulted in DD#1 walking out of the restaurant - LOOONNNNGGGG story that I just don't have the energy to discuss.)  For the first time in years, I was around him and not wanting to do something that would require DH or a good friend to provide bail money.  This was also the first time in the 14+ years DH & I have been together that DH's incredibly awesome brother got to meet my ex-husband.  I'm still not sure how they never met before.

As usual, I had a lovely time with his parents.  I really do like them.  The amount of love and concern they show DD's #1 & 2 is amazing (and the fact they love DD's #3 & #4 really speaks volumes about them.)

All in all, it was a very good weekend.  Here's hoping that, when we do this again in a year for DD#2, we have a similar experience.  *fingers crossed*

And... that was basically the gist of my entire weekend (Friday - Sunday.)  Just dealing with the conflicting emotions of being proud of DD#1 for graduating, being happy that she's going on to bigger and better things, being excited that her life is really starting to take flight, being sad that she won't be around every day, and being stunned wondering where all the time went, as she turns 18 on Thursday.  I swear she was just 5 years old and rolling her eyes at me when I attempted to kiss her goodbye on the first day of kindergarten.  Where did it all go?  I guess all I can do is sit back and hope we raised her well enough to be become a productive member of society.  Based on the poised and confident young woman I saw walk across the stage to accept her diploma, I think we did okay.

Now it's just time to sit back and rest up, for Thursday's going to be big.  DD#1 turns 18, it's the last day of school for DD's #2 - 4, DD#2 has a doctor's appointment later in the day (hopefully we get some answers about the mysterious reddish/purple blotches on her leg), and I get to make a red velvet cake.  Naturally, I'm taking a half day, so I can attempt to do everything.  Although if it does get hectic, I can always run over to White Flower Cake Shoppe in Beachwood and grab some red velvet cupcakes (seriously, if you're ever in Northeast Ohio and you want to try the best cakes ever, White Flower is a MUST SEE!)

Oh, one last thing... is it possible for my house to stay clean longer than a day or two?  The house was cleaned to "visitor" level on Friday and was completely trashed by Saturday evening, thanks to all the party stuff that came home from the park where we had the party.  Maybe if I stopped playing Candy Crush and reading Fark.com, I might have the energy to clean up more.... NAH.  lol

Gotta run.  Words With Friends is calling.  : )