Friday, July 5, 2013

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall. I Am My Mother After All.

It’s official.  I have become my mother.  I’m not sure how (or even when) it happened but it happened.  I’ve turned into my mother.  Now don’t get me wrong.  My mother was an awesome, amazing woman who lived through so much that I sometimes shake my head that she even lived as long as she did (my mother passed in 2001 at the age of 68.)  However, my mother was your typical Irish/Italian woman.  She was the one who yelled if you didn’t eat enough.  She yelled if you ate too much.  She complained if I had my hair in my face but, when I would cut it short, she would say “It looked better longer.”  Always with the contradictions.  The main thing about my mother, though, was food.  She was ALWAYS cooking.  Granted, I come from a blended family and am the youngest of 8 children, so there was a time where it would be only natural for my mother to be cooking all day.  But, even after everyone moved out, she still did so.  And still cooked in the same, absurd amount (enough to feed a small army.)

Yesterday was Independence Day here in the US and where was I?  In the kitchen, at the stove, just like her.  And that was where I spent most of my day, just like her.  Baking two batches of buttermilk biscuits (the first batch didn’t rise enough and definitely weren’t flaky enough for me to be happy, so I had to make a second batch), making potato salad, baked beans (well, doctoring up a can of Bush’s baked beans but I like theirs and, well, I didn’t feel like making them from scratch), corn on the cob, corn/pepper relish (which I made and canned last weekend) and fried chicken.  Keep in mind, I’m using a modified version of my mother’s recipe, which is a "little piece of heaven" on a plate.  Actually, it’s more like a "little heart attack waiting to happen" on a plate.  (The stuff is fried in lard.)  And, by the time it was done, I made enough food to feed at least a dozen people… and there were only the six of us, and two of us are under 10 years old.

I know by today’s standards, I have a large family.  Not too many families are having four (or more) kids.  But I know I’m not alone in this.  Every mother I talk to does the same thing.  We cook like there’s no tomorrow.  Why?  Granted, I like having leftovers and homemade always tastes better than buying it pre-made or getting takeout.  But why do I feel this need to constantly feed people?  Am I going to be like my mom and continue going at this level even when my kids start moving away from home.  DD#1 is moving to college 500 miles from home next month.  What about next year when DD#2 leaves for college? Am I going to keep cooking for six (or more) people at every meal, even though I can’t just pack it up and ship it to them at school?  Like I said, I like having leftovers but, in 15 years, am I going to want to eat leftover fried chicken and potato salad for lunch every day for a week?


Maybe I’ve inherited the “show ‘em you love ‘em by feeding ‘em” gene from Mom.  In high school and college, all my friends loved coming to my house because my mom would feed them like no one’s business.  (She’d also kick their butts playing “quarters” but that’s a different post all together.)  Perhaps I’ll do the same with my kids’ friends.  I’ve already had one of my daughter’s friends ask if I can send her care packages when she leaves home.  And maybe one of my kids will inherit this gene from me, and the legacy of taking care of the ones you love with food will continue.  In the meantime, I’ll just keep feeding my family and friends (as an expression of love), one piece of juicy southern fried chicken at a time.  Pass the biscuits, please.

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