Do They Sell "I Survived the Great College Move of 2013" T-Shirts?

Well, first up, I apologize for not updating the blog or Facebook for little while but we were doing something heartbreaking and wonderful... moving DD#1 to college.  I've spent the last month helping her pack, reviewing general "living on your own skills" (like making pasta, doing laundry properly, grocery shopping, etc.), buying tons of supplies (while I love the fact the room came "fully furnished", I really wish the dorm offered a meal plan - more on that later), and moving her 500 miles from home.

We just arrived back home this afternoon and I'm still amazed that it all happened so seamlessly.  The only "forgotten" thing was a corded telephone for her desk, in case they lose power and she can't use her cell phone, and that was fixed by a quick trip to Radio Shack.

So, let's recap the last 4 days...

Friday morning, up at regular time and get the youngest 2 off to school (DD#2 is capable of waking up and getting herself off to high school by herself.)  After getting the girls on the bus, DD#1 visited quickly with a couple of our neighbors while we started to load the car.  Rather than putting the mileage on my (very recently repaired) SUV, we decided to rent one for the trip.  Unfortunately it was a little smaller than mine and, naturally, not everything fit in the back or on the back seat with DD#1, so we had to improvise a bit.  All the groceries DD#1 purchased in advance of her trip (we figured it would be easier - and cheaper - to shop here at home instead of in NYC) were moved from the large storage tote box and moved to the reusable shopping bags I gave her for her use while at school.  Then we had to be "creative" with storing the remaining 2 storage bins of clothing, the kitchen-sized trash can (no, the room didn't come with one), the cleaning supplies (because she actually expects me to believe she'll keep her dorm room cleaner than her bedroom at home - ha!), bedding, etc.  Finally, we were off for a lovely 500+ mile drive from our house to my brother-in-law's home, where we were staying for the trip.  (He's beyond awesome to allow us to stay with him whenever we visit back east.  Considering he's single and lives alone, it's got to be a HUGE culture shock to have guests and children at his house every time.)

Saturday morning, DH, DD#1, and I headed from Stamford, CT to NYC, and I remembered why I hated driving into the city.  An approximate 45 mile drive should NOT have to take over 90 minutes.  (Another reason I love living where I do in the Midwest is that this almost never happens here unless there's a horrible accident or tons of snow... none of which were factor on Saturday in NYC.)  We were lucky to find on-street parking less than 3 blocks from the dorm.  Score!  Over two hours later, DD#1's side of the room was organized and unpacked.  (Her roommate still hasn't moved in yet but I was nice enough to clean her side of the room as well, so she doesn't have to come in to dust bunnies in the corners.)  All that remained was for a final trip to Ikea for dishes, cookware, etc.  To my dismay, DD#1 didn't want to go with us, so DH, his brother, and I went up to the one in New Haven on Sunday morning, then DH & I (and my BFF's mother) drove back down to the city afterwards.

DD#1's dorm is really in a fantastic neighborhood.  NYC's Upper East Side, on Third Avenue.  The view from her room is very nice and the building is SO cool (24 hour security, full gym, laundry facilities, fridge and microwave in every dorm room and a full kitchen on every couple of floors -- DD#1's room is about 3 rooms away from the one on her floor, etc.)  The only thing that would make it perfect is if her college or her dorm had a meal plan.  Unfortunately, the school is a small fine arts college (less than 1,000 students!) and it's not feasible for them to offer one and the dorm is used by at least 8 different colleges around the city and it would be overwhelming for them to offer one.  So, in what could be really good (or really bad, but I'm going to focus on the good) move, DD#1 is being forced to shop for groceries and cook her meals.  In theory, it will be healthier and probably cost less; however, I'm afraid she'll decide to live on a diet of Ramen noodles and "Easy Mac".

And today was the lonely drive home.  For the first time in years, DH & I were able to make the drive home in under 9 hours.  And it would have been shorter if we didn't have a side trip to my favorite Italian bakery in Port Chester, NY (a girl's gotta have her NY deli-style hard rolls and I promised DD#2's boyfriend's mother a box of Italian butter cookies) and 2 pit stops for coffee (we packed sandwiches at my brother-in-law's house, so we didn't have to eat fast food on the road.)

Coming home was great (my sister and one of her adult children stayed at our house over the weekend and babysat DD#2, 3 & 4 because they started school already and I didn't want them to miss 2 days the first week.)  My house was clean!  They even cleaned up the mess we made when, at the last minute, we had to remove some stuff that couldn't fit in the car.  Love them for that!  Actually, I'm not sure "great" is the right word.  Coming home to only 3 kids was definitely bittersweet.  DD#1 is really an adult and is living on her own, albeit in a dorm, and while I'm happy for her, I'm still sad that she doesn't need me to make sure she's going to school and doing her homework and going to bed at a reasonable time.  But watching her eat dinner on Sunday, knowing she prepared it herself, with her own groceries, using her own kitchen pots and pans and utensils really made me tear up.  Her telling me about running to the market to buy some broccoli for a snack the night before was good.  And when she told me that she found a Unitarian church (the faith she's been raised in since she was about 7 years old) near her dorm and that she's considering going to church while away at school choked me up big time, as she said she was "taking a break" from church earlier this year.

She's sweet, smart, living on her own, and grabbing life with both hands.  She's doing something that I didn't do at that age (I lived at home while going to a local university when I was her age.)  I'm proud of her!  To think I had something to do with creating and molding this amazing young woman makes me choke up... again.  This time next year is going to suck because it'll be both DD#1 and 2 going away to school.  (Might be a good time to buy stock in tissue companies.  lol)

And now I'm off to finish unpacking and doing laundry.

Good night!

Simplify

Nine years ago this month, DH and I made the decision to move from the suburbs of NYC to the suburbs of Cleveland.  We just decided that we could not afford (financially, spiritually, mentally) to live the life we wanted in that part of the country.  For the “perk” of being able to say we lived in Greenwich, CT (our hometown, actually), we would have to continue working an obscene number of hours (in my case, it was anywhere between 50 and 70 hours a week at “salary” – a/k/a no paid overtime), never seeing each other as our work schedules didn’t completely mesh,  and just not having the time/energy/money to do anything on the days we both were off from work.  Plus the kids were either at school or with the nanny.  They definitely weren’t having fun.

So we decided, "Let's move to a different area!"  An area where I could (and did) take several years off from work and raise our kids.  An area where DH could putter around in the garden and enjoy the property we had.  (Did I mention that our previous back and front yards put together were smaller than our current house’s front yard?)  An area where our kids would end up with friends all over the block.  The town we picked, Mentor, was chosen because my father’s company had transferred my family out there for several years when I was growing up and I “knew” the area.  It’s actually still a surprise at how fast it all came together.  We bought the second house we saw on our first trip out here, and closed on it in less than 8 weeks.  We decided our family needed a simpler, more relaxed lifestyle and living here was going to do that for us.  I even bought a rustic rectangular painting of the word “Simplify” for our new home, to remind me (and us) that we were going to simplify our lives.

DH and DD’s #1, 2, and 3 (#4 wasn’t born yet) adjusted almost immediately.  Me?  The one who actually spent a good chunk of my childhood here, it took a while longer.  I began to miss being able to hop a train and be in NYC in 45 minutes, even though I hated working there.  I missed the ocean, even though I hardly went to the beach for fear of yet another horrid sunburn.  I missed good bagels, hard rolls, pizza, and being able to find a 24 hour deli or diner every couple of blocks, even though it had been years since I had a 3:00am breakfast after a crazy night out with friends.

While I truly enjoyed being home with my kids, it took a long period of adjustment for me to get to that point.  I have worked since three days after my 16^th birthday.  The longest periods I had taken off were maternity leaves after having DD’s #1, 2, and 3.  Heck, I even worked from home (with an “at the time state of the art” 14.4 baud modem!) after having DD #1!  I didn’t know what to do with myself.  I threw myself into volunteering (school, Girl Scouts, church, etc.), Gymboree, and hosting “craft days” on days off from school with a huge slew of neighborhood kids (which I TOTALLY loved -and miss- doing!)  DH came home every night to a nice dinner, a fairly organized home, and happy kids.  But not a happy wife.  Why?  What happened to “simplify”?  What about all those articles and books I read, toting how amazing a simpler life would and could be?  My life was perfect… and I still wasn’t happy.  Why, indeed?

After several years of therapy (I have major depressive disorder and a bunch of other issues that I won’t bore you with… today), I realized that I somehow tied my feeling of worth to receiving a paycheck.  WTF?!?  I was doing the most important job of my life, tending to my family, and I was having trouble finding worth in it?  What was wrong with me?  My therapist encouraged me to go back to work and, quite frankly, not only did I need to work for an emotional level, we were really hitting the point where I had to, from a financial level, as well.  (I have always been the primary breadwinner and, lucky me, DH doesn’t have a problem with that!)  Unfortunately, after being home for a couple of years, plus my “network” was 500 miles away, it wasn’t that easy.  I couldn't even get an interview with Macy's because my college education made me "too qualified".  Eventually, though, I lucked into an amazing job that actually WANTS me to have a healthy work/life balance.  One that understands I have priorities outside of the four walls of my office.  By taking a step back and sideways, careerwise, I could get "me" back.  And even though I may get stressed and annoyed by work (like this week, where I’m covering for another co-worker and having to do two jobs when all I want to do is be home with my kids, since DD#1 returned home last night!), I’m grateful for it. 

So how does “simplify” fit into all this?  Easy.  By cutting my workload in half and getting away from a fairly toxic lifestyle, DH and I have had the best years of our marriage.  My kids get to see me and have a less exhausted and very happy mom.  I get to enjoy being able to put the brakes on life and enjoy.  Like Ferris said in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”  That, in my mind, is the definition of “simplify.”  Stopping to smell the roses… and maybe pick one or two to enjoy later.

Now I’m going to have lunch with one of my wonderful coworkers and enjoy my beautiful, simple life.

Cheers!

Mary

PS:  Did you know that Zabar’s ships via UPS?  And that hard rolls from Neri’s (Port Chester, NY) freeze rather well, so you can bring home several dozen each trip back east, to enjoy at your leisure?  Oh, and that Mentor has a really good Italian import store (Verdi’s) with fantastic sausage & pepper wedges… uh, I mean “subs”?  (No one outside of the metro NYC area seems to know what a wedge is.  *sigh*)  Life is simply better here.

Quick Update: One Day I'll Learn to Relax on Saturdays

Today was spent running around, hitting two different grocery stores to get our weekly shopping done.  Oh, did I mention I did this with the two youngest in tow?  Yeah...  Thankfully my sister was able to go with us and that helped keep the "Oh Mommy I've GOTTA have this!" whines to a minimum.  In fact, the only things they asked for (and I caved in on) were bananas, Greek yogurt, and organic bunny-shaped pretzels.  Not too bad, if you ask me.  It could have been much worse (thank you, Whole Foods, for NOT having huge candy displays at the cash registers!)

So then we came home and I spend the rest of the afternoon "prepping".  I don't know if anyone else does this but I find it makes my life a little easier during the week.  I start off by rinsing all the fresh fruit and vegetables.  Then I assemble bags of pre-cut salad greens (I store them in the reusable produce bags found in the $1 bins at Target) for quick weeknight salads, hull the strawberries and pop the grapes off the stems and put them in kid-friendly plastic boxes (they're plastic and look like the cardboard strawberry containers at the farmer's market, again from the $1 bins at Target), separate the broccoli crowns into good size pieces and store them in reusable produce bags, etc.  I find that, by doing all this right when I get home, that:

1. I actually use all the produce I buy because I've taken away the "oh but I still have to clean, chop, etc. before using it" excuse.
2. The kids actually eat the easy to access fruits and veggies, and they don't ask for junk food.  Seriously, this happens in our house!  All they might ask for is a small container of ranch dressing for dipping the celery, carrots, or broccoli.  Love this!

After that, DD#3 and I decided to make oatmeal/peanut butter energy balls (see recipe below.)  It takes about 5 minutes to prepare them and the kids LOVE them!  They're all natural and are comprised of things we usually have on hand, so they're convenient.  Plus they're healthy enough that they can be a quick morning breakfast on hectic school mornings.  (Our kids go back on August 21st this year, so I'm already in "back to school" mode.)  They're so good that the kids don't even realize they're healthy and good for them.

Well now I'm going to relax a bit, grab a couple of strawberries, and get ready for tonight's dinner (meatloaf, macaroni & alfredo cheese side dish from Whole Foods - a nice grown-up take on macaroni & cheese, and a big salad.)

Hope everyone's having a great day!

Mary

RECIPE:  Oatmeal/Peanut Butter Energy Balls
1 C dry oatmeal
1/2 C peanut butter (you could substitute sunflower butter, if there's an issue with nut allergies in your home)
1/2 C ground flax seed
1/2 C chocolate chips
1/2 C raisins or dried cranberries (or you can mix them, if you like)
1/3 C honey or maple syrup (I used maple syrup because I just bought a couple of bottles from the kids' summer camp, where they make their own syrup - super awesome stuff!)
1 tsp. vanilla (optional, but I do tend to use it)
2/3 C toasted coconut flakes (optional)

Mix all ingredients together in a medium bowl.  Put the bowl in the refrigerator until chilled and firm.  When firm, take out and roll the mixture into 1" to 1 1/2" balls, and enjoy!